I don't even know that a third chance is a possibility, especially since he is refusing any help or communication outside of small talk at the moment. But I am curious to know if anyone else has dealt with anything similar.
180 him. Do you have parents you can go too?
Only you know your exact situation and circumstances. Only you know if another chance will make a difference. And I know it's not easy to decide after you've been hurt over and over. I'm biased because of my own situation, but I've learned that when a man says "I just want to be myself" they are usually already seeing someone.
R Began 5/21/11
D-Day #2 7/9/13 (OW #2 is OW #1's first cousin)
Limbo? I don't even know if that's what this is.
Needless to say, nothing changed in my situation. He continued to lie and cheat, but I'd had enough. I filed for divorce and never looked back.
I think your WH is showing you who he is. As difficult as it is, I think you need to move on- without him.
[This message edited by GabyBaby at 12:30 AM, August 19th (Monday)]
DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)
WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs
Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.
he wants to live as a roommate situation, still supporting me and our daughter, but he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me.
What does that mean?
I have been a stay at home mom since he came back, and currently without a vehicle. We moved to a new city 3 months ago, and I am feeling stuck.
I'm sorry, mixedintherut, I know this is not fair. It's certainly not how you expected your life to play out. But at the moment, you need to take control of your future.
Oh, and I plan on seeing a lawyer within the next week or two.
[This message edited by mixedintherut at 12:40 PM, August 19th (Monday)]
So anything's possible if people are willing to work hard towards positive change.
I am trying to get past the shaking/not hungry/feeling as though I am going to throw up and as a result not eating. Obviously not eating is not healthy, and I have to take care of my daughter, so it has kept me moving.
This was me very recently. I survived on water and toast for several weeks, and this was with about an hour of sleep a night (2 hours, tops). You may not feel like eating, but you know that you have to. Every few hours or so I would make myself a piece of toast. I didn't want it, or even know if I would be able to keep it down. But I made it, and I ate it. It was just enough to stave off passing out.
It sounds like you are aware of what you have to do for you and your daughter. Get started, and come here often for support. We're all here for ya.
married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m
"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
I can only speak for myself. Life is short, I'm well over half way done with it, and after what I went through I don't think I have it in me to give another chance.
My kids are growing up, I want to be with someone who makes the right choices with me and our relationship.
My wife does that today, it has taken a lot of time, counseling, and treatment.
If she stops, she knows where the line is drawn.
A little over a year ago, she did something that was reminiscent of the old WS (no affair and nothing like that at all but slipping back into old behaviors and not being open and honest) and I blew up. I simply could not take it anymore. I gathered the children together, told them that we couldn't all be together as a family because of their mother's lying, and I left.
A few hours later, I came back and I told her that I wasn't leaving, if anyone was leaving it was her, make her choice and live with it, no excuses. It was a shock for all of us, it took 6 months for us to get through that.
[This message edited by standinghere at 9:42 PM, August 25th (Sunday)]
I knew I would be filing for divorce for certain after that and there would be no reconciliation.
I deserve better, and can do better than that shit.
My kids deserve to see that you DO NOT accept that shit in your life.