Tomorrow is my BH's and my 3 year wedding anniversary. My affair started a year before we got married. I just feel so sick to my stomach. So much anger and shame at myself for hurting so many people, especially my BH an my AP's wife. I remember my wedding day so fondly - it was a small ceremony, just family. A beautiful day with a lovely dinner after. I remember bawling my eyes out saying my vows because I was so happy to be marrying my BH, but then broke them four months later.
We had our reception for friends and extended family a few months later. My AP and his wife were there. She took all of our reception pics. I spent time this afternoon cropping all of the pics to delete her and him, along with some other ex-friends. I want to remember these days fondly, and not think about them.
I asked my BH is we were going to acknowledge our anniversary tomorrow. He said "why wouldn't we?" On Friday, we are planning to go to dinner to the restaurant we ate on our wedding day.
I love him so much. I hate that I hurt him. I'm angry because I can't explain this to him. I want him to look fondly at all the special things we did over the course of the A. In September, it will be 14 years that we've been together. I want to have many, many more years with him, making new memories. Repulsed daily by my actions
Me - WW 38
Him - BH 39 (mpb1974)
Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
DD - 1/24/13 (affair began in May 2009)