Why are you so sad when all these happy times are here he says.
I said I don't trust being happy anymore, its not important to me.
He looks sad and says sorry.
Our 17th wedding anniversary is coming up in 5 days, I cant bear to even recognise it, I know this has something to do with how low I'm feeling. Feel an idiot for not really this man after so long together.
Have moved really far from R here, what the heck is wrong with me?
I booked our family vacation to a lake home when he was in an affair. I mean I agonized over every detail. When
i figured that out I ran out of the house. I'm not sure how he thought he was going to go on a vacation with a OW back home but I'm sure he didn't think that far ahead.
at any rate, it was over by then and I enjoyed the fruits of MY labor!
please take some time to enjoy the scenery and know that better times are ahead.
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...
You make a choice about how you want this vacation to go. It's okay to love your H and want to strangle him too. It's okay to feel sad, to cry, to feel a little lost. It's also okay if you decide to hold hands and walk down the beach. For so long, you did not have the ability to make a choice. Now you do.
Your H needs to understand that this is the new normal for now.
Find 5 beautiful things every day to appreciate while on holiday bc no matter where you go, there you are.
I hope tomorrow is better.
Our recovery has been going so well but the feelings of happiness made it seem worse. I think this may be a pattern for many of us so you're not alone in feeling like this.
You may be putting yourself under too much pressure, subconsciously, to enjoy the beautiful place you are in. Allow yourself to feel what you feel and take a bit of time to appreciate the beauty of the scenery around you. I know it's hard and my holiday wasn't perfect by any means but once it's over you will be able to look back on it and know that your WS was not involved in the A and it will be a new 'past' memory you have created.
We went on a trip about six months out and it was a bit rough, but we did have some good times.
It is just a terrible journey and it takes years to heal.
So sorry for your pain.