Topic: He says if I leave, he won't see our daughter anymore
Member # 34262
| Posted: 6:19 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
Anyone that says something like that doesn't deserve a child in the first place. Think of the shit he could pull on your daughter some day. Divorce him and NC him for both your sakes. What an ass.
Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish
Posts: 2120 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Member # 36134
| Posted: 6:39 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
I agree with purplejacket. Was he always like this? If so, be very Leary about how much time he has your DD. If he manipulates you like this. Think what he will do to a child that loves him. He is likely to teach her that if you love someone, ________(fill in the blank) your DD doesn't need that example from the first man she loved. It sets her up to be a doormat (or worse-abused) in her adult relationships.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Posts: 4985 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 38020
| Posted: 6:42 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
Also, if I leave he wants nothing to do with our one year old daughter. He won't even see her anymore.
It sounds like he is using your baby to manipulate you into staying with him.
What an asshat.
I would NOT buy into it.
Better yet, get this ridiculousness captured in writing. I would love LOVE to see the look on his face when he tries to go after you for custody at some point and you say, "hey, you threatened not to see DD anymore and said you wanted nothing to do with her. Here, Judge, this is the text/email."
I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.
At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 40095
| Posted: 6:43 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
You're definitely right. His face was so cold and callous when e was telling me this. It was awful to watch. He has some serious issues and there's no fog that could make me blind to them now.
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.
Posts: 247 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
Member # 32554
| Posted: 6:47 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
What an utter asshole. Please tell me you're documenting everything, even making a secret voice recording of these conversations, so you can prove he has no interest in actually being a father. What a bastard.
My STBX told people that if he was going to be forced to pay CS and SS he would vanish. I can only hope, right?
Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
Posts: 9458 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 40264
| Posted: 6:47 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
This is not a man who is remorseful. This is an asshole who is using his child to manipulate you into staying.
And I've never heard of a case where the best interest of the child was NOT to be with her mother (unless the mother is proven to be unfit)...he doesn't have a leg to stand on and he knows it.
Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
If it is what it is then what is it?
**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**
Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 10506
| Posted: 6:51 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
Start documenting everything concerning your DD's care. Keep it in a place that he will not find it and do not tell him anything about it. Document every diaper change, every both, every meal time, every trip to the park, everything and who is providing the care. Be fair and document the good and the bad for both of you. If you can demonstrate that you provide the majority of the care then his threats of getting custody will be meaningless.
I am sorry you are going thru this
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine
Posts: 17605 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Member # 26493
| Posted: 6:53 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
Children should NEVER be used as pawns like this..
This. What a horrible thing to do. Stick it to him Sparkle!
FWS: Him (38)/BS: Me (35)
DD, 9 & DS, 3
D-Day: 3.22.09 EA admitted
OW:a very sad, pathetic excuse for a woman.
"Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy."
Posts: 118 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 38377
| Posted: 7:25 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
He's playing the pawn from the other side now. The problem is he's still using her as a pawn to manipulate you. This is a sick, twisted, abusive man. These guys don't turn around with love. They turn around (maybe) when the consequences are bad enough that they want to change their actions. Give him the consequences sparkle. Document (email, text, VAR) all these horrible threats involving the kids and get the hell out of there. The sooner you leave and refuse to talk to him on the phone or in person, the more evidence you will have in writing.
Big hugs to you. Be strong girl.
And, I repeat, FTG!!!
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7
Posts: 2058 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Member # 39170
| Posted: 9:35 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
I think that he's changed his tune about seeing her because he knows he could hurt you with it. Manipulation whichever way it turns out
Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.
DS (6), DS (18 months)
Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".
Status: Done like dinner
Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The frozen North, eh?
Member # 34823
| Posted: 9:46 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
Since you are a L, then you know, without a court order saying differently, that you can take your daughter anywhere that you darn well please, right?
How would this play out...."home life was unstable and unsafe, needed to get away...blah,blah"
Stop talking. Start texting and emailing......
If you leave and he doesn't see your baby...that is HIS choice....no matter what stupid shit he tries to tell you. Especially (hint, hint) if you ask him (documented by text/email) which days would work best for him to see the baby.
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Posts: 7865 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
|Topic Posts: 31|