After another restless night. I had my coffee while reading other posts on here and wanted to throw out some thoughts. I want to make this clear I am not trying to give H an excuse for his A, but wondering about a few things.
I know he had a ONS on his first wife. H parents both had many A, their last and longest ones led to them getting a D and each married their AP and are still married today.
I always believed my H was a product of his mom's A. In his early years his grandparents took him weekends, holidays and all summer, because his parents acted as if they disliked him. At age 12 he was on his own. He answered to no one and came and went as he pleased.
At age 16 his mom actually involved him in her A by having him spy on her AP, at his wives home.
Eventually his parents separated and my H, his mom and brothers moved into an apartment with her AP. The only problem was that the AP lied to his wife and so every other weekend his girls come visit, H, mom and brothers had to move into a hotel to hide.
As you can see H was never taught boundaries, A's were common and everyone lied.
This seems no different than abuse that continues generation after generation. We have children, is this going to effect them to the point they will become cheaters?
Married 14 years
1st D-Day August 2009
TT for 4 year
More Affair info August 2013
The wound keeps getting broke open each time he tells me more "truths"