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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: fWW has no memory of A
♂ Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


After this post, I'm not going there or asking her to. She asked me not to ask her the next day and I agreed. WHen I mentioned it, I wasn't even thinking about her feelings until after I said it.

I'm still perplexed at the not remembering the A though. She has a bad memory, but can remember sharp details when she wants to.

D-Day 1: Feb 1990
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49, fWW 43 (Amibroken)
OP- Police Chief (Age 37)
M 25 Yrs, 3 Kids (17, 14, 11)
I initated the relationship at the Railway Tavern, she tried to end it at Scrap Tavern

Posts: 489 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
♂ Member
Member # 38157
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HOLY COW! When I read the original post I thought to myself "Did I post that and don't remember?!?!"

I swear this is exactly what I'm facing. Some of it early on was TT (although "minor" since I have her electronic diary). What happens now is that I bring things up and ask her questions and she tells me she doesn't remember. I can't really tell if she is actually blocking these memories or simply lying to me to avoid telling me, even though I have tried to show her that she can talk to me and I won't freak out.

There were a couple of really bad fights in our marriage years ago. One in particular occurred when I was watching TV and she walked into the room and demanded the controller so she could change the channel. I refused and she stormed off to our bedroom. Moments later I heard a CRASH and when I went to investigate I found my laptop smashed. To this day she can look me in the eye and tell me she doesn't remember this happening. I get very angry when I think about her not remembering. I would feel much happier if she simply acknowledged she lost her temper. Nothing pisses me off more than someone who lies to your face when you have evidence (I took photos of the smashed laptop).

I'm not really sure what I'm afraid of when I'm lied to like that, maybe I'm afraid that there is more I don't know and that the R is false.

D-Day 1: 22 Dec 2012
D-Day 2: 22 July 2014
Me: 40's WW: 40's Together 15 years
1st OM: ex-"Best Friend" of 30+ years
2nd OM: Local Realtek and serial cheater on his pregnant wife.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Toronto
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing pisses me off more than someone who lies to your face when you have evidence

Mine has done the same thing.
I feel the biggest impediment to R is no recollection.

The bad part is wondering when she will decide to do it again(or maybe the other one decides?).

time wounds all heels

Posts: 5397 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
♂ Member
Member # 29126
Default  Posted: 1:23 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with ladya! It's all about self-preservation.

I've said it before,and I'll say it again. "I don't remember" usually means, "I don't want to tell you."

If I want recovery, then I must allow for it to actually happen.
Is it possible that I actually do have all the truth now?

me - husband A46
her - wife A42
Married 17 years
D-Day August 2, 2009
3 kids 11, 13, and 15

Posts: 276 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 40133
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes! A thousand times, YES! It *IS* self preservation, which is yet another form of their selfishness IMO.

Me: 31
WH (1DumbHusband): 35
Married 5 years, together 7 years.
D-Day: June 17th, 2013
TTs that came out as late as January 2014

"One is not tempted by that he does not want."

Posts: 136 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Dallas, TX
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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