Now I'm obsessed with checking everything and I can't live like this. I just don't see the end!
Are you two in MC? Is he in IC? He can blabber about "assurances" until he is blue in the face, until the cold hard evidence matches his pretty words you need to protect yourself emotionally and physically.
I had a little one on DDay, and I was lucky to have a place to take her while FWH sorted out his priorities. I'm not saying you leave the house, but is there any way he can be asked to leave until he gets into therapy and shows real work? Do you have family you can lean on? He needs to be 180'd at least because it sounds like he is still tap dancing in the fog, and until he is scared into addressing the ROOT of these issues, the end may get farther and farther out of reach.
Take care of yourself every day even though the A feels like it's pervading everything. You and your unborn child deserve all the positive love and energy you have to spare.
Sending hugs and good thoughts.