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Newest Member: brierpatch (45434)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When life doesn't go according to plan...
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had my first child at 31, second at 35 and third a few days before 38. Just want you to know that it's not over for you yet!

Keep your faith.

There is a wonderful life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1680 | Registered: Mar 2004
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I miss being a wife as well, and I'm also very introverted and have no idea how I'd meet someone, and if I did, how to flirt without looking like a bozo!

So, for now, I'm stepping out in other ways-- getting my kids involved in a community organization where I might meet people (probably all married, but they might have single friends) and joining a singing group (which is mostly women, but they might have single male friends!). I'm just working on my social development outside of work and home, and seeing where it goes from there. I figure that the more I focus on an "I want a relationship" mindset, the more unhappy I'll be, and that will make me less healthy and less open to the right relationship (and possibly open to an XWH Part II).

If it helps, I had my kids at 29, 31, and 33, but I am on the YOUNG side in my groups of friends when it comes to having children. Most of my friends either started in their mid-thirties or are starting now in their late thirties.

And my brother is 44 and has a 17 month old baby and another on the way (and these are his only kids).

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3623 | Registered: Oct 2011
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The other thing I worry about is getting into a wrong relationship because I am just so damn desperate to be in a relationship again...

I worry about this now - I didn't at first - when I was dating before I was ready. To me, recognizing this is HUGE, it means you are ready to know who fits the bill and who doesn't. In my most recent OLD experience it seems to make a big difference in determining what makes sense for me.

Even though you are introverted, you are enjoying life and that will create opportunities. And it sounds like you now have the tools to handle them.

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4618 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 23
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