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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Must stop reading comments on Huff Post
roses303
♀ Member
Member # 40161
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Huffington Post has had many many articles on infidelity and divorce recently which sometimes have good advice and sometimes are just horrid.

But the comments. Oh my god, I have never read so many comments that make me feel so bad about trying to reconcile. Thank goodness for this place. It is so helpful to have a supportive community. While I know reconciliation isn't the choice for everyone, I wish people wouldn't go on about how foolish the choice is. Maybe those with good reconciliation stories just don't talk about it so it isn't common knowledge that it can work. Instead all I seem to hear and read is "once a cheater, always a cheater" ugh. that isn't what I need to hear.


Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R

Posts: 141 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: roses303
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sigh....not a lot of marriage-friendly places on the web or anywhere....

My wife isn't a fan of me being on here either...so it is very difficult to find a safe spot to process this trauma.

God is helping me....but the bible talks about fellowship and relationship...urging us to lean on each other and help each other. The world at large has abandoned this idea. Our WS subscribed to the worlds ideas that you should seek your self satisfaction at all cost...repercussions be damned.

I asked my Pastor early on if he could put me in touch with a man in our congregation who had worked through infidelity in his marriage....he had no such person. All he knew about where people who survived adultery by divorcing.

I don't want to converse with people that divorced...I want to gain wisdom from people who successfully R. I can find all kinds of reasons to D...Huff Post, my parents, even the bible with regards to adultery. That is why this site is important to me.

I have not gone into the Divorced forum yet....but feel my marriage slipping hard.

Huffington post....yeah, visited it once...NOT marriage friendly.

Kicker is...my wifes FOO issues have trained her and her sister that it is weak to do what we, BSs, are attempting to do. My wife is trying to curb this built in perspective but it is tough...I see her struggling, I see her sister questioning that she should even BE changing....

I know there are people that do R....but odds and the world CAN look like they are against us.

I don't agree with once a cheater always a cheater....I just don't. I have seen things within myself change that I thought were unchangeable....so this gives me hope that we can R....

but I am so tired....

Please stay away from the Post.....you need your energy protected....this is a marathon.

God be with you.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:24 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3958 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
Topic Posts: 2

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