I'd like to really hear about the non-monetary gifts that came from the heart. It's one thing to pull out the Visa, but MC isn't cheap and I don't really want to see another bill.
"Knowing is half the battle"
Expecting progress not perfection
Unfortunately, during the project, I found that he was still seeing her. I had to wait until the wall was finished before I totally ended things with him.
I still love that wall.
Lmao! Too funny
DS (6), DS (18 months)
Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".
Status: Done like dinner
I had to wait until the wall was finished before I totally ended things with him.
He spent tens of thousands on OWs. On sex with strippers, strangers. On staying in a hotel with his "last" OW. I mean, amounts that left my family doing without for a long, long time.
I said that it would be nice if he'd get me something, anything that even approached what he'd spent on others. That he'd shown others he valued them, but never shown me.
He chose to interpret this (with help from the bitch OW who was still in his ear for the next year) as me being incredibly greedy and materialistic.
And he acted accordingly.
What would have worked? Anything--really. ANYTHING that showed he was thinking of me.
He sent flowers once after d-day, while he was pretending to be NC (and likely at OW's suggestion). They were quite pretty, and I appreciated them. But flowers are not my thing.
(If he'd planted flowers, which would have cost him a fraction of what he spent? THAT I would have loved. Or a tree. Or a bush. Something that said, "I am planting this and will be here to watch it grow with you.)
[This message edited by solus sto at 1:03 PM, August 24th (Saturday)]
He immediately started looking for a job in a previous career. It took nearly a year but he found one. Unfortunately, we have to move, but I am ready to get out of A town and house. Neither of us wanted him to stay in the job he had during A because it would mean the possibility of seeing OW.
He gave up coveted seats on 4 non profit and charity boards to lessen the chance meetings even more. That is how they met.
He immediately sold a car we had less than 4 months. It had been purchased during the A and OW had been in it numerous times. He also had to sell an older SUV for the same reason.
At the time I told him not to buy me anything because nothing he could buy could take away his liability in the A. These acts of change meant more to me. Depending on the price we get for the house, it remains to be seen if it is a gift or a shaft.
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.
The most beautiful thing he did wasn't a tangible gift but an act of service that still makes me cry when I think about it.
I shared about it here before but to really understand you have to know the whole back story. I grew up in church and have always been deeply spiritual, strong in my faith. JM did not grow up in church at all, but his faith has grown to match and possibly surpass mine. It was one of the deepest, strongest desires of my heart to have a husband who shared my faith, and one I'd pretty much given up on.
So I came home from work one day and JM met me at the door, told me to close my eyes. He led me into our room and into a chair. He took my shoes and socks off (my eyes still closed) and placed my feet in a basin of hot, soapy water that he had filled with rose petals. And he proceeded to wash my feet. When I opened my eyes, his were full of tears as he tenderly scrubbed my aching feet. And the beauty and tenderness and the symbolism of the act turned me into a puddle. Because Jesus washed the disciples' feet to show them His servant heart, and to show them how they were to live. And my husband was showing me that he was getting it. That he not only shared my faith in his head and heart but that he was living it.