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Newest Member: Ktee (45330)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: D-day, 5 years ago yesterday.
Jt40
♀ New Member
Member # 36620
Frustrated  Posted: 10:01 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

5 years since D-day.


Me BS 40 (at the time)
Husband WS 47 (at the time)
Married 17 years (at the time)
3 children
6-8 month PA 1/08-8/08
D-day 8-24-2008
Reconciled

Posts: 6 | Registered: Aug 2012
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Jt40)))


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2628 | Registered: Aug 2012
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Jt40)))

Sending you strength.


Posts: 35848 | Registered: Mar 2011
ccw82
♀ Member
Member # 40133
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jt,

As a newbie to all of this, may I ask you: Does it still hurt as much now as it did 5 years ago? Will the internal pain and suffering ever end, or will it subside and occur less frequently (but always be there in some form)?


Me: 31
WH (1DumbHusband): 35
Married 5 years, together 7 years.
D-Day: June 17th, 2013
TTs that came out as late as January 2014

"One is not tempted by that he does not want."


Posts: 136 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Dallas, TX
Jt40
♀ New Member
Member # 36620
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the hug Chicho and jo2love- just what I needed :)

ccw82-

It all does get better over time. I find ways of avoiding the dark places my mind sometimes wanders and once in a while I wallow there. I would equate my pain level now, 5 years out- to a bad bruise, it is there and it hurts if you push on it but is fine if you leave it alone. I was really hoping that by this time I would have gotten past the affair and have no hurtful memories of it but unfortunately that is not the case for me. My daughter and the ow's daughter are close friends and they play two sports together at the high school level so we see the ow often and I have a lot of triggers. My husband is hurt and dissappointed when I mention the betrayal so I try to keep my moments of hurt and my triggers to myself, they don't last very long. There has not been a day go by since D day that I have not thought about it - although now it is a brief consideration and fleeting feelings of hurt and not a continuous screeching, annoying migraine pain hammering in my heart and in my mind making me feel like I was spiraling out of control like it was for the first two to three years. I remember that pain but I don't feel it anymore which is good.
I have to believe it will continue to get better. I can easily live with this bruise but I hope it fades away one day and I am surprised that I did not realize it was gone.
Hang in there, better moments are in your future!


Me BS 40 (at the time)
Husband WS 47 (at the time)
Married 17 years (at the time)
3 children
6-8 month PA 1/08-8/08
D-day 8-24-2008
Reconciled

Posts: 6 | Registered: Aug 2012
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As I approach the 3 year mark I too have not had one day, not one single day, that I have not thought of my WH disgusting A. Fortunately, like you, the daily though does not terrorize me as it once did.
I just read your post to my WH to show him that affairs haunt many BSs daily, and sadly probably forever.

{{{Jt40}}}


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 4 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2122 | Registered: Nov 2011
Topic Posts: 6

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