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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What would you ask the AP?
kickboxer
♀ Member
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 12:21 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would ask how it feels to spend tons of money paying for fake boobs, fake tans, fake nails, and fake hair trying to make yourself appear perfect on the outside...and still not be able to lure him away from his fair skinned, slightly overweight wife with breasts that aren't as "perky" after breastfeeding his 3 babies.

Congrats, OW...you captured the attention of the worst he had to offer...the lying, cheating, miserable man.

Gold star for you.

How does that feel, Bitch?


BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 248 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 1:44 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IF I could get an honest answer, I would ask the OM if he and my wife had a threesome with someone else. I have a sneaking suspicion, as well as some small evidence they did, but I doubt very much I will ever get to the truth. My wife still insists she has told me everything, but I don't think she would ever admit to having a threesome.


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Posts: 5624 | Registered: Aug 2007
vivere
♀ Member
Member # 34465
Default  Posted: 6:24 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd like to think that I would have nothing to say to her. Who really knows unless I find myself in that situation?

In the days immediately following DDay I would have wanted her own timeline, as a form of confirmation that what WH was saying was true.


You are responsible for your own happiness :)

Posts: 314 | Registered: Jan 2012
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing. And when the day comes when I do meet him, that is what I will say. Nothing.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1571 | Registered: Dec 2012
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"How can you honestly sit there and say you don't want to hurt my family and that you are "supporting" MY husband through trying to work things out with me all the while you are fucking him?".


Me: BS 44
Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat
Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
Heading for Divorce
3 kids: 15,17,19

Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart, wait for The Lord.


Posts: 1699 | Registered: Aug 2013
Doubts
♀ Member
Member # 40209
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't ask her anything for fear of what she might tell me. You see my husband was the one who chased her to have the affair. She could hurt me more than help me. From the sounds of her voice mails she sounds mean and vindictive.

Posts: 59 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: CA
outtanowhere
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know all of the OW my SAFWH was with since they were all prostitutes. The email that busted him had info about the last one he was with so I was able to find her on FB & found out that she only lives about a mile from our house. I'll come back to this thread with an update if I ever run into her at the local WalMart!


BS - 57
SAWH - 60 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 37 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 647 | Registered: Apr 2013
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why would she, a single woman, go after a married man when she could have had a single man without the baggage of a wife?

What did they teach in divinity school about screwing married men?

If your whole life revolves around peace and justice for all, where did I fit into that mold? No peace and justice for the BW, just whores?

You espouse a sisterhood of women that we are all liberated of men and should stand together. What am I? Not worthy enough to be regarded in that group because you needed to fill your hole?

Who have you told and who knew when it was going on?


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1397 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, y'all.
PrincessPeach06
♀ Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just want to know what the fantasy life was that she had in her head. A married man with 6 kids and somehow she thought he would leave me and they would live happily ever after!?!?! Sounds so delusional when you look at the reality of the situation.


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
CharlieFoxtrot
♀ Member
Member # 38010
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After dday? I fantasized about asking each one of the mow lots of things. The missionary in the Honduras I really would have liked to quiz.

Now? I'm mostly curious why she doesn't wax her 'stache. And did she want him to grow his so they could match?


Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Posts: 505 | Registered: Jan 2013
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now that she's met my kids, I'd like to ask her the following:

Seeing how sweet and adorable my children are, don't you feel guilty for helping to destroy their family?

Seeing how much they love their dad, don't you feel bad that you spent more time with him for the past year than they did?

When you see how he places you above his own children, doesn't that concern you about the kind of father he will be to that baby you're itching for?


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 819 | Registered: Mar 2013
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How can you send him BIBLE verses everyday while committing adultery with him?


Me: BS 44
Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat
Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
Heading for Divorce
3 kids: 15,17,19

Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart, wait for The Lord.


Posts: 1699 | Registered: Aug 2013
caring4me
♀ New Member
Member # 40414
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why does she constantly chase men in relationships while she herself is engaged? I have heard from 3 other people she has done this to.

Why is she such an attention seeker?

Why is it so thrilling to capture the attention of other married men?

And why hasn't her fiance caught on to her antics-or if he has, why is he still there?


Posts: 10 | Registered: Aug 2013
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Why do you have so little respect for yourself?"

I would also ask this of XWH, though I doubt that I'd get a satisfactory answer out of either of them because they are incredibly deluded and don't think that what they did was wrong.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3537 | Registered: Oct 2011
crestfallen
♀ Member
Member # 27993
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had the opportunity to ask her a few questions, the biggest one was, "Didn't your mother teach you anything? I mean, I know that's the first thing I taught my daughter...never, ever, ever go anywhere near a married man....."

"Do ya think I should call her next so she can see who her daughter really is?"

OW, at 41, single, still lives with mommy!!!


BS-me-57
WH-57
Married 32 years
OW-Mr. Ed ish! Seriously!
DDAY- 2/21/09
TT until 1/10/10
Working on R and doing well!!

Posts: 179 | Registered: Mar 2010
sudra
♀ Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is absolutely nothing I want to ask his AP.

I do want to tell her that, when my husband would tell her they could not be more than friends, and she took that as a challenge, was sick. Making a game out of my marriage, my life, my kids' secure home is sick.

That's what I would do with my few minutes with AP.


Me (BW) (54), Him(SAWH) (57)
Married 21 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1429 | Registered: Nov 2010
HurtButHopeful?
♀ Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Who are you?"

When she answers, I would then say, "Oh, you're one of those women. I don't talk with women like you."

Then I would walk away with my shoulders back and my head held high.


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
scared&stronger
♀ Member
Member # 15942
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had the opportunity to ask her. Caught her in her own home while she was ill. I rang the doorbell and asked her if I could come in? She said yes so we sat in her living room and talked.

These are some of the questions I asked her.

1) Why did you have sex in my house? My bed? My kids beds?

2)Why did you allow FWH in your house to have sex where you and your husband raised your children?

3) I asked her to explain why she felt the need to try to befriend me on the first support site I joined?

4) I asked her how she could look in my face, my kids face every Sunday as she stood in the choir and sang hymns?

5) I wanted to know if she really thought she would mother my children better than I did?

6) I asked her if she were afraid that I was going to send the emails I had between the two of them to everyone we both knew (I did after I promised her I wouldn't.)

7) I asked her if she wanted me to return the nice things she did in my house with her husband in her house? (She didn't like that at all )

I didn't ask the questions with an expectation of getting truthful answers but to see if they corresponded with FWH answers and the info I had from her ex. I also wanted to catch her off guard so that she didn't have time to think about meeting with me(which she avoided at all costs)or time to think of answers.

I absolutely had every intention of coming into her home and making her feel uncomfortable. I also felt I had the right to face her and watch her face as she looked at me. When she looked away I asked her to please look at me since everything else had been done behind my back.

I don't advise confrontation for everyone....that is my personality. Until I have my say I am like a dog with a bone that is not only pissed off but your worst nightmare. I asked to enter her house and she said yes. I never raised my voice ( was almost too calm) and I sat across from her with my hands on my lap.

[This message edited by scared&stronger at 7:26 PM, August 25th (Sunday)]


WS 45
BS 43

Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.

d-day 4-3-07

Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.


Posts: 3955 | Registered: Aug 2007
SoAngryAndHurt
♀ Member
Member # 40150
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would ask her if going to church every Sunday gave her permission to sin? Then I would ask her she going to raise her daughters to be bored housewives who try and break up other peoples families like her?


Me BW 41
Him WH 35
2 kiddos elementary school age
Married 11 years
05/20/13 let the rugsweeping & TT begin
07/01/13 finally!! The whole truth. Admits to EA/PA

Posts: 77 | Registered: Aug 2013
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a lot of years out and anything I'd ask at this point would just be strictly out of curiosity... I think I'd have the same question for all the OW:

"Why?"


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15361 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
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