My husband also travels, and it is a source of stress. I feel the same when I don't get consistent attention. . . I find that the lows are worse after the good times because I kind of forget, and then it is like getting socked in the stomach. I don't think I get weeks of relief - maybe that happens later?
I don't think you are bi-polar, just processing a terrible hurt. It sounds like with a remorseful husband you are heading in the right direction. I bet if you look back, your good days were further apart.
I would communicate with your H about what you need, and keep the faith. Good luck; sorry we are in such a crappy club.
I edit, therefore I am.
I don't think you are bi-polar, just processing a terrible hurt.
I second this. There's example after example here of how manic the rollercoaster makes us. I look back at that first year and I was NUTS.
The good news is that all the little steps you can muster to calm yourself will add up in time. A LOT of time, but you will get there.
I can't speak to the double betrayal, but I've seen so many come through so much and I have hope for you that one day you will have your happy and know that the floor isn't going to cave.
Double betrayals are awful things.
Nothing that you are experiencing is unusual in such circumstances.
having a really hard time getting over what my ex BFF did to me with what seems like no remorse
This person probably has no clue what she has really done, and doesn't have the emotional wherewithal to even begin to understand. If she did, she would not have done this. You can't expect anything from this person.
my fwh, who has really done a lot to help heal our marriage
This is where you can and should expect more from. If, with all the work stress and other family issues, he could find time to have an affair, then he can find time to reassure you, text you, talk with you, go to counseling with you, etc, etc.