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Newest Member: brokenmess (44282)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Where am I?????
Afraidtolove
♂ New Member
Member # 34996
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been about a year since I asked her to leave. I am in a weird place in my life. My hand feels empty and alone when I walk in public places. For twelve years her hand has held mine. I've tried to move on but the small things just sneak up on me. Dating has been a challenge either, I am completely not interested or have given up on a female counterpart. Every girl I date or run into is completely not my type. Online dating, hooked up by a friend, or walking up to a girl in a grocery store, all have ended after a few dates. I know what I am looking for but they just don't meet what a I am looking for in a mate. Weird thing is I am looking but not looking. Who knows. Will ever I find love again or was that my chance and I asked it to leave? I am in a better place being without her but just empty.


BS-29
WW-30
Together for 11 married for 7
D-day 10/2011 the week of my birthday.......
divorced- 1-2013

Posts: 29 | Registered: Mar 2012
traicionada
♀ Member
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Where are you? On a healing journey
For a tiny segment of the population, dating comes natural but for most people, dating isn't easy Add to that the fact you spent most of your adult life with your WW and that throws another level of complexity to your situation On the bright side, you have healed enough to recognize you're better off without her but I know that doesn't make the empty feeling go away.
Will you ever find love again? I think you should rather ask: Are you willing to give yourself a honest chance to it?

[This message edited by traicionada at 2:08 PM, August 25th (Sunday)]


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
Afraidtolove
♂ New Member
Member # 34996
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks! I tried to make peace with myself everyday. That's all I can do.


BS-29
WW-30
Together for 11 married for 7
D-day 10/2011 the week of my birthday.......
divorced- 1-2013

Posts: 29 | Registered: Mar 2012
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We say (and see) it all the time here, and many of us have lived it as well.

If you are empty and not truly happy and at peace with yourself, you are going to attract the wrong kind of person.

I recommend taking the focus off of dating right now. Get off of the OLD sites. Focus on yourself. Discover (or rediscover) some new hobbies. What are some things you've always wanted to do or learn? Spend time with friends and family. Become a whole, happy person on your own, and once you've done that, you'll be ready to welcome a good woman into your life.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3267 | Registered: Dec 2011
Survivor3512
♀ Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Afraidtolove))) hang in there. A lot of us are where you are- not broken anymore, but maybe still a little bent. It's a long process, but we'll get there.


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
Afraidtolove
♂ New Member
Member # 34996
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I have pick up hobbies like guitar and went back to school this week. I know it's a tough journey but I'll get there. Thanks everyone!!


BS-29
WW-30
Together for 11 married for 7
D-day 10/2011 the week of my birthday.......
divorced- 1-2013

Posts: 29 | Registered: Mar 2012
Topic Posts: 6

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