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Newest Member: 2stupid4words (44983)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: X is bring the OW and her girls around
Survivor3512
♀ Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew it was coming, but it has still knocked me for a loop. XH has started bring the OW and her girls around our kids. My oldest has mentioned it a few times. He doesn't know his dad had an affair or that it was with this woman. It feels like I'm being punched in the gut whenever he mentions it, but I just smile and nod and tell him that I'm glad he has a good time with them. It's been over a year since Dday and 8 months since D was final. It doesn't help that I am alone- I think how is this fair? After what they did, they get the happily ever after??? I know in my brain that's not the case, but when I hear about them spending the day with my boys, I feel like it crushes me just a little bit more. Please tell me that this gets better. That I will get used to hearing about OW with my kids and not want to cry.


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It does get better. I felt the same way when my DS #1 told me that they had met the OW. I wasn't fantastic about masking my feelings, but I did the best that I could in the moment, and now, it really doesn't bother me when they talk about her and her kids. It's been six months since they first met her, and the only urge I have to fight is to not roll my eyes in front of the kids when they talk about some sort of "family activity" that they did during XWH's weekend. My XWH and his sycophant are trying so hard to put on a good show for all of the kids; it's laughable.

You'll get to meh. Be kind to yourself and remember that YOU are their mom and that she'll NEVER replace you. And puh-leeze-- they DON'T have happily ever after. How can you be happily married to someone when you have cheating as the foundation of your relationship?

(((Survivor3512)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3606 | Registered: Oct 2011
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It does get better. At first my kids didn't mention OW at all. Then they did start talking about "this person they knew" without mentioning her by name, but it was obvious that's who they meant.

And then, earlier this year, about 3 years after the divorce was final, ex married OW. My young adult boys now freely talk about "the crazy step mother" and it doesn't faze me anymore. In truth, most of it amuses me.

None of it is fair. But with time and healing, you can get to a point where it truly doesn't matter.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12150 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
Survivor3512
♀ Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, tryingagain and inconnu. I think sharing my kids with OW may be the hardest part. Ugh. Glad to know it'll get better!


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It does get better. I was a hot mess when it all went down 20 weeks after S. Not as an XW but as a mum. It was all too soon, too ridiculous and my girls are so little.

The only thing worse is the thought of someone being unkind to them.

She is not interested in them at all and as a not at all intelligent, sophisticated or mature 24 y/o who dresses like some kind of emo goth thing I'd say most people think she is their surly older step sister.

I have several iterations of her to go through over these next 16 years as do my girls. Um. Yay?


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5560 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Survivor3512
♀ Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good grief, SBB. That sounds terrible!


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
Topic Posts: 6

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