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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: If you were a sick freak, where would you hide the videos?
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what pisses me off? I specifically told STBX in the beginning of our relationship that I love to fuck. I love sex. Love it! Nothing like fucking a man's brains out so he's unable to speak. Nothing like merrily spending a weekend in bed and discovering just how many times you can go to the moon & back.

But stay away from the back door and the only showers I take are by myself with hot water. Don't go there with me, don't ask me, it ain't happening.

So why in the HELL did he keep dating me??? Why marry me? Why be interested in me at all??? He knew he was a sick freak long before he met me. I have photographic proof. He knew I was not into what he was into. So why keep on with me?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9861 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because if you had said you liked those things you would have either taken the naughty out of the verboten OR he would have had no respect for you because you would be like him.

You have hea rd it before, you can not rationalize crazy.

I am with the Scooby idea. Think you need a get together where everyone comes in and cleans/purges your house. Followed by burning sage and some sprinkling of holy water just to make you feel like it has been purified from his existence.

Hugs


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously? Someone would record over Elmo or Baby Einstein? People do that?

And where's the last place you would look? He could be getting off on hiding it in plain sight.

Yea, I've seen way too much.

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 3037 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's where I found some--

In our shop he had some shelves which had a small base. They were under the base.

In our home we had a cabinet for the tv which had a base which was long. I found out the base was separate from the cabinet. Moved the cabinet and there was a small open area and movies were there.

In the closet in a box.

I rented a storage building for $25.00 a month and put all that stuff there.


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jan 2012
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

xso kept his split between the bedroom and garage, just in boxes. Some of them were in kid movie cases, too. Might not hurt to check those.

(((N_G)))


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15420 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:28 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The door to the crawl space is accessed from the unsecured backyard. And then one day last year that door - which is very tightly fitted and never came open by itself even in 60+ mph winds - was found wide open. No explanation I could think of

I have to say this NG....I hate your life.
I think that you are an amazing person who is doing the very, very best with the hand you were dealt....but fuck. The messed up shit with your stbx NEVER ends!!!!

I would bet that those videos...if they exist....were taken with him and are not in your home.

I like the *Scooby* idea and think it would be a very well-attended g2g.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8114 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 2:54 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I could be there with you in person, NG, that's all I can say. Everyone already named good spots to check. I hope you and the kids get far, far away from this sicko someday.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3913 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:26 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Check the top of the furnace..I found magazines there once. Check underneath all table tops,and see if anything is taped there.

But..the crawl space..that you know he put stuff in...that you refused to go into,because of the spiders..the door that was found mysteriously open. It's there. The worst of it is probably there. He knew you would never go in there. That's where my WH used to hide shit..where he thought I would never go. The furnace was in the basement..and it was scary in there..other things I found out in the garage..old garage,hole in the roof,and his traps hanging from the rafters..scary..found shit in there.

((((((NG)))))))


Your EXWH scares the crap out of me. I worry about you and your babies.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7756 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 5:31 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found a box hidden in the garage. Had I not immediately thrown him out on D-day and changed all the locks, I'm sure I would not have found them.

He was FRANTIC to get into the garage and was irate that I had changed the locks. Now I know why.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3429 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 6:06 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also where the door is to the opening of the attic. Just push it open and you might find more laying there in arm's reach.


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jan 2012
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

why keep on with me?

C'mon now NG, you know the answer -
Because you're a rich source of supply.

I'm with gonnabe on this.
Hate your life, love the hell outta you!
When's the gtg? cuz I'm so there!

1st house. Virginia country. Crawl space. Spiders (black widows ack! tu ally) -
Got the Orkin man on it...
Could you do that?
(bang for buck imo, let a "professional" look in the icky place whilst fixin it)


Posts: 6684 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG - I'd bet dollars to donuts that crawl space door was open because he had been in there retrieving all the stuff he had hidden there.

Sending you so much strength. (((((Nature Girl)))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(bang for buck imo, let a "professional" look in the icky place whilst fixin it)
great idea jjct has there. But I bet you anything, had your H hidden anything there, they would have been in some sort of a waterproof case right inside the entrance to the crawl space, so that they would have been within easy reach.

But I agree with nowiknow, I'm sure the door was left open because he grabbed the stuff quickly and hauled ass.

Another hiding place, (although not much room for more than something really small), is the space underneath a dining room table that has leaves in it. When you open up the table to add or remove leaves of the table, there is a little 'cubby hole' where something could be hidden. I had a friend that used to keep a very valuable gun hidden there.

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 7:25 AM, August 26th (Monday)]


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7113 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG ,

I found some of XH's porn taped over the shows his dad recorded for us. Most were news programs (local) where XH had a segment. They were unmarked tapes mixed in with the kids videos.

Is freecycle.com in your area? Put a wanted add on it for a working VCR on it. You can also pic one up in a thrift store.

I like the idea of a g2g. You'll gain strength from having peeps understand what is happening.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5331 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like negative nelly saying it, but I highly doubt your ex left that crawl space door open on accident or because he was in a rush. He did it to freak you out. He's too meticulous and calculating for accidents.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13812 | Registered: Jul 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's too meticulous and calculating for accidents.
Oh, absolutely. He's one the scariest people I've ever read about here.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
brokenandconfuse
♀ Member
Member # 39381
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H had them in his tool trailer, in his closet and in a tote in the shop where his carpenter supplier were. An entire tote of magazines, nasty movies, toys, condoms, and extends pills. He was obsessed with anal also. What is up with that? I didn't know he had porn in the house, but he admitted that he took it all out of the house the night before he went to treatment because he didn't want me to find it and think he was a pervert.


2DS, 2DD
BS-Me 32
WH-Him 43
DDay-All 14 years of our relationship. 3PA's, 3 one night stands, and 6 EA's and still counting as we go. Gained enough strength to face it 11/2012

Getting Divorced


Posts: 101 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't know he had porn in the house, but he admitted that he took it all out of the house the night before he went to treatment because he didn't want me to find it and think he was a pervert.

This makes me and . Why, oh why, are they so ashamed of what they are???? If you don't want your spouse to freak out & divorce you because you are a pervert, then don't hide this from your spouse before he or she becomes your spouse! There are plenty of pervert fish in the sea. Marry one of them!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9861 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Clarrissa
♀ Member
Member # 21886
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG, another place you might want to look is around/behind the water heater. Especially if it's in the basement or closet of some kind. Lots of dark corners to hide things.

Just thought of another place (only because I have one myself) is a lazy-susan cupboard. It would be a pain to hide something there but from what you've said about your XH, I wouldn't put it past him.

[This message edited by Clarrissa at 4:43 PM, August 26th (Monday)]


BH Cee64D - 48
WW (me) - 49


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.


Posts: 5893 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: A better place
Loyalty2Liberty
♀ Member
Member # 36714
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I were your garden variety sick freak, I might disguise the tapes as blanks and hide them on a shelf stacked behind a bunch of videos nobody watches much. Maybe I would tuck them away with some other stuff in a box sitting on an old treadmill. Someplace in or near plain sight that nobody would ever think to look. Makes it easier to avoid detection and easier to access all at once.

Now if I were demon-posessed squirrel, I would keep the teen anal rape video... in the kitchen, in a waterproof container that is itself immersed in a large vat of homemade spaghetti sauce. To ensure that my wife cannot obviate the need for my manly sexuality with porn (now *that* would be an unforgivable sin!), I would hide her sauce recipe! Take that! Now I and I alone am master of the porn-concealing homemade deliciousness and you can no longer live without me!


me:BW
him:stbxWh


Posts: 236 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 57
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