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Newest Member: brokenwildhorse (44210)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: If you were a sick freak, where would you hide the videos?
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG!!!! EWWWWWWWW!!!! . People like that will never know true intimacy. The addiction will worse until he can't feel anything. As disgusting as it is, it is also extremely sad. Your H is severely messed up!


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 312 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

L2L, you're killing me here!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9234 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to check every inch of the house, inside and out. Also any out buildings or sheds. I would look every where, high and low. Leave nothing untouched. Then I'd get a priest to cleanse your home.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4680 | Registered: Feb 2008
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 4:29 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to check every inch of the house, inside and out.

Agreed, and not just for those videos. From what that sick person has been doing, it sounds like there are a LOT of things hidden all over. Things you might not even know about. Might as well go through everything. Are there any safe people close by - friends, family, fellow SIers - who can be supportive if you need? (((hugs))) Sending my amazing, strong cleric friend (you) some ranger/sorceress magic to cleanse your home with healing rain and sunlight to eliminate all shadows!


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
"Not my monkeys. Not my circus." ~Polish proverb (<~~~ as a codependent person, this comes in handy sometimes!)

Posts: 3880 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:35 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here is my concern..well..one of many..your WH is a sick fucking bastard...I hate to say this..but I know you've thought about it..child porn..what if there is child porn hidden in your home? Can you be arrested for possession of child porn if it's found on your property? You would have to prove it was his..and that would take time.

I wonder..if you went to the police and told them everything..and about your garage of horrors..and that you are afraid there is something illegal in there...if they would help you?

Im worried that YOU don't know it's there..but he does..and he could turn you in.

Or maybe Im just paranoid?

I worry about you,NG.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7112 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a valid concern, Confused, one I used to have. However, by this point in time I've demonstrated that any illegal porn found here isn't mine. My story about my concern regarding porn has been consistent with all the counselors (mine & the kids) I've seen, with the lawyers, the parenting evaluator, my pastors. I've got pictures of STBX engaging in sex acts, which he's admitted to the parenting evaluator that he did leave them all over the place. I've got this newly-found list in his handwriting. I've got the computer forensics.

None of that would help me in the moment should he file a false report & have me arrested. This information would only help me get out of jail quickly & then destroy him legally for the false arrest. Assuming he hadn't kidnapped the kids & gone into the wind with them. Can you tell this is something I've had long conversations with my lawyer about already?

I checked around the water heater last night and in a bedroom dresser he used to use. Nothing there. I suspect that maybe the crawl space under the house might have been a hiding spot, based on the door mysteriously coming open by itself.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9234 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My Ex's hiding place was above the ceiling (we have drop ceilings).

My friend's husband had his possessions (mafia loan-sharking books) above the rafters in the garage.

Or if you watch Amish Mafia....you learn you can hide $5,000 in a door frame so a video would definitely fit in there.

IDK - when my Ex made visits back to the house, he made sure I knew he was there. I change all the house locks to come home to find the front door wide open. I put up new, locking garage doors and came home to find both wide open. So I would assume your x was the one in the crawl-space.

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 2:21 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)]


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 1989 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh yeah, do you have any tiled ceilings? In your basement maybe?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13553 | Registered: Jul 2011
badd
♀ Member
Member # 23468
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to agree with Amazonia's negative nelly thoughts I think he wants you to find all of this. Did you say your kids have visitation with him? How can that be? I worry about you, too Nature Girl, He is a very scary guy and I hate him for you

Posts: 127 | Registered: Apr 2009
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, he has unsupervised visitation but no overnights. He has totally brainwashed the children into keeping secrets from me because that's a way to maintain "power" as well as break down my relationship with the kids.

I did search the entrance to the attic as well as under the house. No videos were found.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9234 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what, NG?

I reckon this little list you found is his way of torturing you.

Why would someone so calculated and psychotic accidentally leave something so incriminating yet at the same time something that, by itself, isn't enough to do jack shit about it?

I think you're being played friend. I think he did it deliberately to make you feel exactly like this. Gaslighting - the movie - remember?

I would not put it past him to put something on one of the kids media. Not to conceal them from you but rather to have you inadvertently expose your children to that.

That is his kick - it is not about sex or vanilla vs sick-as-fuck. It is about terrorising, controlling, impacting, abusing. You.

You are the mark.

I remember being 10/11 - the last time I saw my father. We had left him a year or so prior and were in hiding. One night he smashed through our 4th storey window in the middle of the night and started punching my mum who was asleep, upright in an armchair with a butchers knife in her hands. She had been doing that the entire time.

He then took me into my bedroom where my 2-3 y/o sister was sleeping - he had a rifle. He then barricaded the door whilst my mother went bat-shit crazy trying to get in.

He didn't do anything to us. We all just sat there. I looked at his face and I saw joy. Even at that age I understood we weren't the target. She was. He would have hurt us to hurt her if she didn't give him that reaction he wanted. I will never get the sound my mum was making out of my head. I know my baby sister was screaming her head off but I don't hear it - I can still hear my mothers screams.

Think on this NG. What will you gain by finding anything. Put it all in a box and send it to the cops with a note saying this is me and this is the X and this is what I fear you might find in this mixed media.

I might be completely off the mark but I have a strong feeling that your need to 'find' something is your part to play in his sick dance - a part you are playing so well and so diligently because of the years you spend under his abuse. You have been trained to do so.

Why didn't my mum run out and call the neighbours? Call the cops - call anyone.

Fear was a part of it - mothers instinct was another part. IMHO a big part of it was that that was the role she was trained to play.

Please know I am aware I am projecting massively here so please don't take any of this as an insult. You know you have been and are a survivor of abuse. I have to wonder if there is a part of his playbook you haven't yet considered.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5392 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
npain
♀ Member
Member # 33539
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex hid porn files mixed in with an internet bible no less, and burned porn he downloaded onto DVDs but didn't label them.

Nature Girl, I trigger when I read your posts as I literally spent a year clearing out his things and moving EVERYTHING he owned to the garage as I found so much porn loaded on disks with no labeling that I was worried my DS8 would get ahold of it accidentally. I just packed up everything that wasn't definitely mine in boxes and put it out.

I don't have any suggestions for you...just hugs as finding out that you are married to such a sick freak makes your skin crawl in ways you cannot believe.


S,beginning D

Posts: 508 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New York
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG- Hugs first to you. Second, your X is a sick fuck. We all know that.

I seriously would take the time to go through every square inch of your home, to remove any remenant of him. That's just the way I am. I would rent a big dumpster, and just start pitching. Going through all the little nooks and crannys, drop ceilings, toilet tanks, dead spots in walls, like below where the electral panel is. Those have a frame, and there is space below between the two studs, same with the dryer vent, and water faucets for the washer. Look for any loose boards, that he may have a space between the floor and sub floor. If you have medicine cabnets that are inset in the walls if they are loose, same thing, empty space between the studs. Jacuzzi tub, usually have an access door to the pump, lots a space under there, depending on the shape of the tub.

I know the way my brain works, and I would do it all just to know there is nothing left to find. Then you can some peace.

Sending you lots and lots of strength


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7785 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's too bad you can't just put a match to the place and run....


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17109 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
torn2bits
♀ Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((NG)))
My SA put the DvDs in regular computer white thin sleeves and pushed up the ceiling tile and put them in there.

I found them cause rain stained some of the tiles. He also put them in the office in between files because they are so thin.

Another place, where I hide vidoe games from my kids is in the pockets of work clothes hanging in my closet, suits, etc.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
woundedwidow
♀ Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nature Girl, I'm so sorry you have to go to these extreme measures to ensure that your kids are not exposed to your STBX's sick porn. Knowing that it has been in the house just creates the NEED to make sure that all of it is out, for the safety of your kids. Like FaithFool said, I wish you could just put a match to the place - that would certainly be the ultimate "cleansing".

I had to go through a similar "search" after my WH died, because I inherited the house and I KNEW he had tons of porn around (mostly B&D, but some harder stuff too.) I didn't have any kids to worry about, but the house and most of the personal property were being auctioned. Once I got out the worst stuff that was where I figured it would be, I just told the auction guys who went through everything being sold to look for and destroy whatever porn they found. (Embarassing!) Knowing my late H's pack-rat habits, I could just envision some hapless auction-goer picking up a book on LINUX programming and having pictures of bound-and-gagged women fall out.


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 363 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

t/j

Holy Shit, SBB. ((((((you kids and your mom))))))

end t/j


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24376 | Registered: Aug 2011
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