I just wanted to chime in with a welcome and support as I can empathize with your situation (I'm a madhatter too) and how your boyfriend is currently treating you. I'm in month 13 and still struggle to do the 'right' things even though I logically know what I *should* be doing. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't.
Have you checked out the Healing Library yet? (see the yellow box at the left). Go there and check out the link for BS FAQ. Question 11 is about the 180. Read up on that and digest it. It's for you to do for you (not as a way to punish your WB (wayward boyfriend).
As confused said, you can't make him stop. And you can't love him enough to make him stop. He will continue to act in this manner as long as he chooses to. It is entirely frustrating but it is entirely true. In the meantime all you can do is decide what you are willing to put up with and work on choosing to put yourself first.
If you are deciding to stay with him for now - are you transparent about your actions with him? Does he get to see your monthly phone bill to see who you are talking/texting with as one way to show that you are being faithful now?
The world of the madhatter is a confusing one because we do tend to compare each other's A's (as in 'well at least *I* didn't do XYZ) but each person's A should be addressed on it's own. As other people have said here when talking about madhatter A's it's best to take one at a time.
If you do a general google search for 'remorse vs regret surviving infidelity' you'll come up with a number of links for boards on here about that topic. The general consensus is that you cannot reconcile with a wayward that is not remorseful.
Check out the I Can Relate / Madhatter's forum. It's not a real hot board but maybe you'll want to read up on posts there and you'll find a number of others who are in or have been in a similar situation.
I'm sorry that this post is pretty scattered and not well written. (That is probably just indicative of my current mood.) But hopefully it will help you feel less alone in this.
ETA: A great consolidation of a bunch of information was consolidated by FightingToSurvive and is found here: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=406548