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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Spaghetti Sauce
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Angry  Posted: 3:33 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I was in my 20's I came up with a "from scratch" recipe for spaghetti sauce. It is the best tasting sauce I've ever had. I had it written down on an index card & carefully guarded it all these years. Then about five years ago the card went missing from my collection. I have looked for that card ever since. There was no reason for the card to be missing, I only took it out when I made the sauce, then put it back. There was no way I would lose that card.

Of course STBX had no idea what I was talking about. Right? No clue whatsoever.

We all know where this is going, don't we?

I just found it.

No, not in the garage.

In a never-used coat closet I'm cleaning out to reclaim that space on the 2nd floor. In a box. A box that held never used vacuum cleaner parts and old plastic bags.

Makes perfect sense, right? Of course that's exactly where I'd put my carefully guarded & treasured spaghetti sauce recipe, yes? Wait. No? You don't think I'd put my recipe there? Really? Well, STBX swore he never touched my recipe, he didn't know anything about it, why would I ask him such a thing. So HE wouldn't have taken it. He said so. He wouldn't have put it there. I had to have done something with it. He doesn't lie.

Sweet Jesus, I need to write a book. Or make a movie. I could make some serious coin


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9538 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
fallingquickly
♀ Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That man is truly nuts.

(((NG)))


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweet Jesus, I need to write a book. Or make a movie. I could make some serious coin
I know that feeling well. FT is a scary POS like yours. The SI collective (we've all read some bizarre infidelity stories here)wanted me to write a book and hold out for the big $ and sell the movie rights.

Who does this shit ? Why was my FT one of the biggest FTs on SI ? NG we hit the SI jackpot of FTs I guess.
Hang tough and know my FT was as fucked up as yours.

So glad you found the recipe ! One for your side !That is a huge find considering what we are dealing with going though D/S with these POS.
Hugs
Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 4:05 PM, August 26th (Monday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20368 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweet Jesus, I need to write a book. Or make a movie. I could make some serious coin
You'd have to publish it as fiction because no one (other than SI) would believe!

Can I just add... YAY! Spaghetti is back on the menu!!!


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25070 | Registered: Aug 2011
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should also consider as part of your marketing package, selling your sauce:

"NG's Lost and Found Pasta Sauce"

You know how those companies love to tell the origin of their sauces (family recipe brought over from Italy by Great-Great-Nana)? What a story YOURS would have!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3575 | Registered: Oct 2011
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This goes the other way as well. When my WW returned from vacation with the kids the other day she blamed me for taking the ring her OM had lovingly given her. It was not in the jewelry box she had put it in. Of course I freaked out because I hadn't touched that damn thing. She said it was a felony, etc.

I spent. 30 minutes looking for the damn ring to clear my name and found it in a toothbrush bag she had brought with her on vacation. When I showed it to her she blamed me for sneaking it in there.

I know many of you are going to say she was trying to set me up, but I do believe it is her forgetfulness (or brain metastases, which I cruelly pointed out).

Shit freaked me out, but the separation began last night, so maybe it's all for the best.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 666 | Registered: Aug 2013
krazy8516
♀ Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it terrible that my first thought after reading this post was, "Oh, I would love a home-made pasta sauce recipe!"

LOL. I'm Italian - shoot me.

It never ceases to amaze me the crazy nonsense our WS's come up with. I wish I didn't know first-hand...


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank goodness he hadn't put it in with the pictures that he ruined......he must have been feeling *generous* that day.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7944 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My first thought was 'OMG WHAT did he hide in the spaghetti sauce!'


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 722 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
PurpleBirch
♀ Member
Member # 39170
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know it's your secret sauce, but if you would share it, I promise only to feed it to myself and my children. I'm looking for a good sauce recipe.

Ps: I knew as soon as you said "missing card" that he had taken it. I just didn't anticipate you getting it back. I thought he would've confessed to flushing it or something.


Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.

DS (6), DS (18 months)

Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".

Status: Done like dinner


Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The frozen North, eh?
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Geez.... Ya just can't make this shit up. I have so many questions!

Have you ever confronted him with any of these discoveries? Or would it just be a futile and circular discussion?

Have you made a list of these things you've found that he claimed to know nothing about? It would make an interesting case study for a psych PhD student!

How was he able to move out and leave all that behind? It seemed to be really important to him. Surely he must know you'd eventually find things.

He must have gotten huge power trips out of doing this shit to you or it would not have continued. He was getting something out of it.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3077 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG, I know I should be used to it by now, but I really am continuously amazed (and horrified at the same time) by your POS wayward. He is a seriously messed up animal.

Wish I could hug ya Girl. :). Hope you and the kids enjoy a big ol' pot of spaghetti this week!!!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3557 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, I'm totally not sharing the recipe. I'm sorry, but it's mine!

Just an hour ago I found something else. I had an adorable nightlight as a little girl. It's a little porcelain girl dressed in a hoopskirt, holding a bouquet of flowers. The light goes inside her so she glows. So cute! Anyway, she disappeared so long ago, I can't even recall. In fact, I'd forgotten about her. Just an hour ago I was clearing out some old bottles of emergency water that STBX refused to get rid of, even though they've been sitting there for about 17 years & would be entirely unsafe to drink by now. I found an old burlap bag wadded up behind the water bottles. My nightlight was in that bag. WTF? WTF?!?!?! FNA, even I have a hard time believing this stuff.

Yes, I think STBX would make an excellent subject for a psychological study. You know, if I had the money I would pay to work with a professional and have that study done.

ETA: No, I've never confronted him about all these discoveries. The only reason I'm making them is because I threw him out of the house w/ a restraining order that prohibited him from coming back onto the property. So he didn't have the luxury of covering his tracks, and I've had the horror & pleasure of all these revelations.

Back when he was here & I'd realize that something of mine was missing I'd ask him if he knew it's whereabouts. Inevitably me asking would rouse him to righteous, indignant anger. How dare I ask such a thing? How dare I make such accusations? Yet all I'd done was ask as meekly & humbly as I possibly could. I learned to just not bother asking him for most things that disappeared. So I see no point now in confronting him about all the things I'm finding. He's just going to say I'm crazy and making it all up anyway.

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 7:09 PM, August 26th (Monday)]


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9538 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"My Spaghetti Sauce Recipe Survived - and So Did I"
by NG
(Recipe not included)

Posts: 6541 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's sad-- it sounds to me like he wanted to hide anything that had some sort of meaning for you. I mean, I'm sure you've found random stuff, but several things-- your sauce recipe, the nightlight, the paints-- are all things that you really liked. It's like the abuser who isolates his/her spouse from family and friends-- in this case, he wanted to isolate you from anything that you had a meaningful attachment to... I'm assuming so that you'd constantly look to him to reaffirm your sense of self or so that he could gaslight you as another means of control.

You HAVE to write this book. You could write it under a pen name and change just enough so that your STBX couldn't try to sue you for some of the profits.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3575 | Registered: Oct 2011
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I might need this recipe since it was so good it was worth hiding!


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 879 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 16

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