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Newest Member: Rdoranjr (45348)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: "super dad" vent (language)
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get super tired of dealing with idiot parenting. Stretch has yet to "admit" he is not working. He has "offered" to let the boys hang out last week while I worked the teacher workdays. Um, yeah, no thanks. The boys are independent and prefer their own house and schedule. Was I supposed to ask, "Don't you have to work?"

He has been without a vehicle other than OW's and told the boys his work truck was "in the shop." Am I supposed to ASK??

He wanted DS to come practice soccer before tryouts on Wednesday. He had this brilliant idea on SATURDAY. DS was at a birthday party and had other plans the rest of the weekend. DS said "maybe Monday after school?"

Today, it is Monday. First day of school. After school, DS is tired, has homework, it is hot and he has no interest in going to kick a soccer ball around with his dad. He calls to cancel.

Cue passive aggressive self centered bullshit. When are tryouts? Oh, yeah, well if you don't want to practice....

No question about the first day. About his teachers or his friends. Or anything about DS!! It is all about Dad's fucking hurt feelings. Dad isn't being allowed to be "imparter of wisdom and athletic knowledge and ability." DAD isn't going to get credit if DS makes the school team.

And THEN... stupid wanker calls back. Did he remember it was the first day of school and DS might have something to share? oh, NO. Of course not. He had some thinly veiled since you won't let me help you I will give you advice so just maybe you won't fail... "if you're not going to practice, then you NEED to do lunges tonight. And tomorrow. And Wednesday morning before school."

Right you stupid fuck. You never ever played soccer. Ever. You don't know the rules and to watch you coach is laughable. You haven't had a winning season with DS not once. But he is going to take the gospel of soccer tips from you! And begin an exercise he hasn't been given proper form for, or been doing for the last 3 months. He's going to tax the muscles repeatedly and show up for tryouts on Wednesday with what? A pulled hamstring?? Yea, thanks for the advice.

I bet he wants a "good job showing up for tryout preparations".... 48 hours before tryouts!! If you were really invested in skill building you'd have done it ALL fucking SUMMER long!! Johnny come lately. Probably busy blaming me right now for interfering.

How about ringing in with the judgmental downright negative bullshit right before the big day? Way to cast doubt and disbelief on your son. I heard the criticism. I heard the chastisement... and it wasn't me who has to show up in front of my adolescent peers on Wednesday afternoon after school!!

I spent all summer convincing DS to try. To TRYout. He KNOWS he isn't the fastest kid out there. He doubts his ability to compete already. He damn sure doesn't need DAD all pissy because he won't come play, telling him he will fail.

GAH!! I swear the man could star in his own show on how NOT to parent.

Ok, thanks for listening.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome vent! If I was your son, I would be hesitant to try-out now after hearing THAT speech from dad. I hope that he will still TRY at the try-out.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I swear they are all the same.

I am so glad your sons have you for their mom.

Sending mojo for Wednesday . And hugs for mama.
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5266 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GAH!! I swear the man could star in his own show on how NOT to parent.

You know, that is actually a really good idea for a reality show. We nominate out ex's and then the film crew secretly films them acting the idiot for a week!

FTG!

Remind your DS that being fast is not the most important thing in soccer, being able to control the ball it. He may not be the fastest kid there (and really, there is only 1 "fastest" kid), but if he can handle the ball and he shows dedication then he will be fine.

(((cg & DS)))


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17687 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Dreamboat. That is solid advice. Much better than what he got from his dad.

I get so tired of people assuming that just because dad shows up to coach Y soccer that he is "involved." He is getting all kinds of ego kibble as COACH. And he uses that power to punish DS. If DS has done some IMAGINARY wrong, he will sit him, pull the strong players back, and lose the game on what appears to be "on purpose." So either he is an abysmal coach or he is a jackass. Or both.

The thing about DS is he isn't fast. He has an awkward gait. BUT, he is smart. He understands where the ball needs to be, and can position himself to be there. And half the time he can accept a pass and turn the ball for a good offensive play. He has scored quite a few times!! I am a proud momma...

DS also pays attention in practice. He does the drills. He isn't "cutting up" or goofing off. He plays hard and smart. Coaches see him and see potential.

I don't know if he will make the school team or not. It is competitive. But I want him to try. I want that opportunity and experience for him.

And nothing he does or doesn't do NOW will change what happens on Wednesday... except his attitude.

It seemed like his dad turned this into a succeed or fail moment. And at the same time, ignored the "right now" moment in DS's life of first day back at school.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get so tired of people assuming that just because dad shows up to coach Y soccer that he is "involved."

That is my XWH exactly. I call him "Mr. Photo Opportunity" because he shows up at things that are picture-worthy. He snaps a few shots, sends them to his parents to show what a good widdle Daddy-kins he's being, and then evaporates from everything except for visitation (again, to show his Mommy and Daddy what a caring parent he is). My DD has something tomorrow, and of course, he emails to ask if he can meet us there-- at 9:00 am?

Sure, Dillweed, only it starts at 9:30. I should have just said yes and let him stand there for a half hour, but I'd rather have a pleasant day than deal with any nastiness from him.

Sorry for the t/j. I'm sick of parents who are like this as well. All fluff and no substance. They want the kids to get over the D yesterday, embrace their APs, and then behave like perfect saints who worship their wayward parents at every turn. They want to parent part-time and then enjoy the spoils, as though they had something to do with it. They don't do the tough stuff, just the stuff that gives them the photo opportunity.

Sending your son tryout mojo!

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 7:28 PM, August 26th (Monday)]


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think it is a t/j to jump on the idiot photo op parents bashing bandwagon!! (say that three times fast... )


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a giant piece of shit.

Sorry dude - can't stretch and skew your parenting abilities. Shame.

The sad clown shows up to school stuff and I have to laugh. He doesn't know her friends or their parents. I almost want to give him a "DD5's Father" badge so people know who the fuck he is. Her teacher asked me why she isn't doing her nightly reading and recording it in her Home Reader and I tell her I can't answer that, all of the writing in it is mine. She gives me this knowing nod. Uh huh.

Go for your Kodak moments fuckturd, Kodak went bust a few years ago.

Divorce cures a shit husband problem but not a shit father problem. Damn.

((CG and CG's beautiful boy))


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My favorite rant-how XH only shows up for the photo op! They need the photo to prove (to themselves and) everyone that they are a great parent. My oldest calls it "being his prop", her reasoning she's "to prop up his image for his public".

She's right-sadly .

CG-how did try outs go?

Hugs
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5266 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 9

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