Topic: Is it normal to feel as if you're dreaming?
Member # 39669
| Posted: 11:32 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013|
It's like my mind refuses to believe all of this is/ has been happening?
BSO ( ME )- mid 20s
WSO ( HIM ) - late 20s
1 yr old DD
Posts: 61 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Newwhere
Member # 40141
| Posted: 11:53 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013|
That's the way I have been feeling this whole time (about 7 weeks) and it's just now really starting to hit me that this isn't a nightmare.
The 1st couple weeks I would wake up thinking it was all a dream, then when I realized it was real I could hardly breath. Now I am slowly accepting that this is my new reality and figure out where to go from here. Not easy and I am sorry you are here too
Posts: 86 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
Member # 35874
| Posted: 12:16 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013|
Oh yeah. I would bolt awake at all hours of the night thinking, this cannot be happening.
Those first few months I floated around like I was in a dream. I think it's how our brains deal with trauma.
Now, a year and a half plus later, I'm feeling great and so much happier...and yet I STILL wake up in the middle of the night and think...WTF? I think about our beautiful years together, when things were good and I trusted him and never, ever would have predicted this...I think about the births of our kids...and still just can't believe it happened the way it did.
I think maybe in some ways that feeling of it being a dream/nightmare never fully goes away???
Me BS (39)
Him WS (36)
M: 9 years (together 13)
(Separated since 12/11...affair began ??!!)
Posts: 298 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: USA
Member # 32554
| Posted: 12:18 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013|
Very normal. It's your mind trying to protect you from the pain of your reality.
Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Posts: 7323 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 38735
| Posted: 1:55 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013|
Yes, I feel the same. When I think about our previous life together, I feel the same way. Us getting married, having our babies, getting the dog, etc. It all seems like it was a dream now.
BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Posts: 499 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 36857
| Posted: 5:10 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013|
Yes. I'm sure it's as Nature Girl said - a self-preservation mechanism built into our brains somehow. It's completely normal. For the first week, or so, I truly wondered if maybe, just maybe, I was going to wake up from a dream (nightmare). For the next couple of weeks, I still couldn't believe it was true (that my wife had cheated on me), but the "hope" that I would be waking from a dream started to fade.
You're lucky to have found SI this early in the process of discovering the betrayal. I found it a bit later, so I wasn't able to do sanity checks like the one you're doing with this post.
Sorry you're here. Good luck to you.
Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"
Posts: 579 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Georgia, U.S.A.
Member # 38378
| Posted: 6:14 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013|
Yes...I think and feel it's a fog of it's own, an unreality, perhaps, that our mind finds in order to handle things as they come.
So much shock.
The times, they are'a changin'! -Bob Dylan
Posts: 1882 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Member # 38928
| Posted: 6:28 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013|
I was a functioning zombie for at least the first two months after the last D-Day. It is normal, but will slowly start to fade as the shock wears off and your brain starts to come to terms with your new reality. I went through the motions of daily life and dealing with the upheaval, but really could not tell you exactly what I did as it is all very hazy. Time really does help so hang in there!
BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs, started 1994 - never stopped
3 kids - 22, 20, 17
M Dissolved 10/18/13!!!
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare
Posts: 609 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of hell's ashes!
Member # 33226
| Posted: 6:51 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013|
((((ariabook)))) It is normal, or at least what passes for normal in these conditions. Hang in there.
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 19287 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: "Is this heaven?" ;-)
Member # 40287
| Posted: 6:53 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013|
Totally normal. It is the brains way of helping you deal with the shock. Over the weeks ahead it will fade. Just hang in there!!!!
BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Posts: 84 | Registered: Aug 2013
|Topic Posts: 10|