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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: S.T.D testing Tuesday
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 3:44 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I go in just a few hours to my GYN, whom I've know for years and he knows my husband, to ask for STD testing.

Why am *I* feeling embarrassed and humiliated? Because he knows my husband? I think maybe that's it....

I asked my husband to please do STD testing before we start MC. He said, "why? We are a long way from having sex again.". I explained that I was just worried about it and would rather he do it sooner than later.

He sort of agreed, but not really, so I will be anxious to see if he does it. Part of me thinks he won't because I'm afraid NC isn't being maintained...but, I can't control that right now and I'm trying to just let go of that for the moment.

Wish me luck and a clean bill of health.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
sparklezombie
♀ Member
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 4:32 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been there. Three times actually. It is embarrassing. Just know that you're not alone


BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 253 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending Prayers. Waiting for the results was a stressful time. I had my fWS get her results written in hard copy from her Dr. Just so I would know it was true.


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2636 | Registered: Aug 2012
TheRealDeal
♀ Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending prayers too.

I've been thru it but had to explain the reason to my new doctor whom I had never even met before.
I was mortified explaining it but she helped when she said something along the lines of "this is not the first time someone has come in for this situation".

it won't be the first time your GYN has heard it either.

try not to feel embarrassed by GYN knowing your WH. easier said than done of course. WH actions made the testing necessary so anything your GYN might think would be towards your WH, not you.

(((nekorb)))


Me: 45, him: 54
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 252 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry sweetie. Be been there, done that, and sadly, had a disease to show for it.

Please ask for every test in existence. And remember you will have to go back and be retested for HIV several times.

I am very concerned and disgusted that your H refuses to be tested. Frankly, I would make refusal to be tested a dealbreaker. No testing, skip straight to D. This is no joke, this is serious serious stuff.

Stay strong. The docs have seen these sad stories hundreds of times.

And, I second what Chico said, and I did the same thing he did. If and when you H does (if ever) get tested, make it a requirement that his results come directly to YOU so you can verify that he actually went. He will have to give his docs office permission to do this, so discuss this in advance. Remember, cheaters lie. Verify everything.

Stay strong, chances are everything will be fine. But if not, come on down to I Can Relate, where we have a thread dedicated to those of us with STD's.

((((Nekorb))))


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, and don't assume that if your results come back clean that he will not have to be tested. He could still be carrying something that simply has not shown up in you yet.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((nekorb)))

While this is the first time you have to do this, do not worry or be concerned about being embarressed.
This something they see sadly on a daily or near daily basis. No Judgement will be made, and if it is, or you sense that it is, then that Dr. and his/her staff aren't worth going to in the first place.

Be proud that you are taking charge of your health and getting it done. I can also say I felt the same way when I went, and the Nurse Practitioner that I saw was amazing, comforting, and understanding. It made things a bit easier.

(((and strength)))

ps- tell your spouse that he's an even longer way of having sex again if he does not follow through and get tested.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8718 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Reegz
♂ New Member
Member # 40391
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you're too embarrassed to see your OB-GYN, go to an urgent care center, if you can afford it. That way you won't be further embarrassed. Also, make sure you get the full panel of STD tests, including HIV.

He needs to do the same thing and please don't give in and have sex until you see his results in writing. Unfortunately with how HIV manifests, you'll need to get tested again in at least six months (the amount of time the HIV virus takes to manifest), as will he.

Make sure you get the full panel. Protect yourself and protect your health.


Me: 40 BH
Her: 36 WW
Clues Discovered - EA - May/June 2013.
D-Day - Confirmation of EA and discovery of PA - August 20, 2013.
4 to 5 month affair.
We are in recovery. Taking it a day a time.

Posts: 45 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: New York
Kelany
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've done it twice. The staff was very supportive. They do see it more than we want to think about.

You need full panel, blood and pelvic.

HIV
Herpes
Hepatitis
Chlamydia
Ghonnoreah
HPV
Syphilis

Everything!!!!


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I'm back. My GYN was great - very supportive. Did cultures including a urethral culture which HURT! yikes!

Then off to the lab for bloodwork....I'm sure it was my imagination, but I felt like every person that saw my lab requisition and knew what I was getting tested for was looking at me with pity. I tried to ignore it.

I'm home. I'm going to make eggs.

Yes - he will most definitely have to get tested before there is any sex. If he doesn't do it before our first MC appt in two weeks like I asked him too, I am going to bring it up at that appt with the counselor present.

Yes, I will get it in writing from the doctor's office.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
OneFootForward
♂ Member
Member # 39136
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Nekorb))

Been in your shoes. Just know there are others out here to lean on.


Me: 42 BS
Her: 41 EMA
Married: 16 years
D-Day#1: 04/17/13
D-Day#2: 05/8/13
Children: 9,5 (girls)
Om: High School Flame
"Marital problems doesn't make someone a cheater just like financial problems doesn't make someone a thief"

Posts: 71 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Mobile, AL
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((nekorb))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25774 | Registered: Aug 2011
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hepatitis B was negative.

One down.
Whew.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So you're going to put yourself through the discomfort and humiliation of STD testing with your doctor who knows both of you, while you're being told, "Why? We are a long way from having sex again..." by your husband who feels it's beneath him to be tested.

Sounds as though it's still the "all about me," show with him, isn't it?

Well, at least ONE of you is working hard on reconciliation.

You deserve better, nekorb. Sending positive thoughts your way.

[This message edited by NeverAgain2013 at 10:38 AM, August 28th (Wednesday)]


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1819 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

More good news...

Gonorrhea and chlamydia both negative. I listened to the message three times to be sure.

Just waiting on HIV and syphyllis now.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great news!


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25774 | Registered: Aug 2011
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Curious if anyone has experience with the early detection RNA test for HIV?

Thinking ahead for my husband...


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
3Xthefool
♂ Member
Member # 40113
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

one thing that many people don't even think about is checking yourself for a condition called "molluscum contagiosum" you can check yourself for this fairly easily. The skin lesions look very similar to warts. If you find anything suspicious, I would recommend that you see a dermatologist to confirm and get them removed.


Posts: 59 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New York City
Topic Posts: 18

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