I can't take this pain over and over and over. Why can't he tell me everything so I don't have this hanging over my head?
I've told him that for me to stay, we have to sell this house and buy a new mattress. I was just beginning to come to terms with the fake timeline and feel like I could begin to heal.
[This message edited by Sadwife222 at 12:33 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)]
Question. How did she know he made a timeline and how did she know what was in it?
In your bed? And he has allowed you to continue to lay in that bed? That is just..so cruel.
I'll leave it at that..since you posted this in the R forum.
Im just so sorry. Im crying with you. I had TT at 2.5 years into "R." And it does set you back,almost to square one. But you know how to handle this now..you have the benefit of SI..and an army of people here to support you.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
The only good part was she confirmed there has been NC for "months".
Be very careful to hold his feet to the fire after this. He really needs to know that the truth needs to be out, now, or you WILL reconsider remaining in this relationship with him.
What is he doing/saying?
I told my WH,after dday#3, that I needed to see him do "more." And I had no idea what that MORE was..just he needed to do more. Because I was done carrying us. I had been doing the majority of the heavy lifting and I was.done. He needed to step it up. I put that burden on his shoulders..and I've been watching his actions..because his words mean nothing right now.
It is very hard to recover from this kind of lie. These kinds of lies. But you can do it. When you feel stronger. For now..it's ok to cry. It's ok to be mad.
Take care of you. Read the 180. Let him figure out what he needs to do.
And have that bed out of your house before you go to sleep tonight. I'd drag it outside and set fire to it(Im a little angry these days). But get it out of your house.
Block the OW. She is only calling to cause you pain. Your WH has done a bang up job of that...you don't need any more TT coming from her...your WH needs to tell you everything..now. Right now. Otherwise,it is going to come out..bit by bit..and it is nothing short of torture.
I am so sorry for the pain you must be in just know you are not alone in this. Many of us are or have been where you are at. I was TT to death. I ended up becoming my own investigator and I found out the truth on my own. Take it one breath at a time.
Yes this does set the clock back unfortunately and it also further ruins any previous trust built back. If anything I believe trust goes into the negative zone at this point.
If you have friends or a counselor I always advise to keep them nearby
When I came back from my trip, I found a toothbrush package in the trash under his sink. No new toothbrush was around. I'm pretty sure they slept the whole night in my bed and he gave her a toothbrush in the morning.
It's all so sickening.
That is an ongoing nightmare come true.... I am SO SORRY you have to go through this!
I feel just sick to my stomach for you. How can a WS be that cruel? I just don't get it.
Awful, awful, awful. I like the mattress burning idea.
I can identify with your situation. OW #1 got it in our bed. That was trickle truthed out after about a week. WH had to fork out for a new $2,000 mattress. Crime doesn't pay.
Recent OW got laid in the guest room on the 20 year old mattress. Supposedly. Seriously though, it's a violation, like a break-in. Your own home shouldn't have to be filled with triggers.
Why don't people realize how soul-crushing the lies are?
Latest DD - April 2013, PA
Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.