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Newest Member: Chivalrous (45316)

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User Topic: retirement party
purplebreeze
♀ Member
Member # 31611
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have been doing R pretty good. Nothing since the beginning of 2012.

I have a situation coming up that I feel very nervous about. A friend of his at work (known for 33 years) just retired two weeks ago. They had a retirement luncheon at work which FWH attended. Friend is now having a retirement party this weekend at a relative's house. It is 75 miles away. A bunch of FWH work buddies are going. They will have a band and drinks until whenever. I don't want him drinking and then needing to drive all the way home and there in lies my problem. I don't want him to go to a motel as I don't know who all is attending and if he would be alone or not. I just have an odd feeling about the party especially as spouses weren't invited. He keeps saying there is no problem just work friends, but I know there are a bunch of women that work there too. He will not text me during the day when at work and I know he won't while there. He just never has done texting even to the OW. I just don't like the idea of such a distance for a party, though the employee lives about 55 miles from us (work was in the middle). He won't call when he gets to the room as he doesn't do that either and never has. There is nothing overt here, just my uneasy feelings.


me 64
WH 66
married 44 years
DD Jan 16 2011

Posts: 357 | Registered: Mar 2011
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband would never expect to go to something like this without me after what he did. He would either have politely declined or informed them that he would be bringing his wife. And if he did plan to go to something like this without me after what he did, I'd let him know that he could begin planning to do everything else in his life without me as well.

What's more important, the buddy's retirement or his wife?


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Sep 2005
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Will this be a men only party? Why aren't you invited? No wives? They will have a band and a bunch of guys are just going to bop around together? I do not think so.

This is a 33 year friendship so the guy has to know about you. Even if it is friends giving the party I think they have breached etiquette by not inviting you. Unless it is like a stag party. I could see a cookout, drinks, maybe cards or something, but a full out party with a band. No women? I do not believe it.

My H would never ask me to go let alone go, expect to spend the night and never even call. If you cannot go to the party, at least go with him to check in at the hotel and wait for him there. Spend the night with him at least.

This is your call, but he never gets in touch when he travels? I would have a huge problem with that. I expect a call, hotel, room number, room pics, FaceTime if I request, and he better answer if I call him, no matter what time. I also have find a phone.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1526 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
JustWow
♀ Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you cannot go to the party, at least go with him to check in at the hotel and wait for him there. Spend the night with him at least.

I'm gonna second this idea


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3629 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
purplebreeze
♀ Member
Member # 31611
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you cannot go to the party, at least go with him to check in at the hotel and wait for him there. Spend the night with him at least.

That has been my thought also. I also have been wondering about the lack of spouses. I know the guy is married and it is at his sister's house. I wonder if FWH just has taken the very loose invitation by email at it's plain wording. No mention of spouses means no invite of spouses. FWH is also not really sure he wants to go that far for a party. Especially as it would all be in town freeway driving at rush hour to get there.


me 64
WH 66
married 44 years
DD Jan 16 2011

Posts: 357 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 5

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