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User Topic: Trying not to let it bother me...
krazy8516
♀ Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But lately, everything bothers me, so what's the use?

WH is having a bad day. Well, it started yesterday, when he almost got fired - for something that may or may not even be his fault. And even if it was, it's hardly a fireable offense. But Texas is a "right to work" state, so the boss can fire him for any - or no - reason.

Today, WH is off doing a job that our boss promised to help him with. As per usual with my boss, he found an excuse not to help out. This leaves WH loading and unloading over 100 file boxes, in multiple trips, in 100 degree heat all by himself.

I don't blame him for being angry. I'm fairly annoyed about it myself. But it has my WH shut down. He's not speaking to anybody - of course, "anybody" includes me. He said he's mad and it's not fair to take it out on me, so he's just going to "keep his mouth shut." Part of me appreciates this. Sometimes when WH is mad and venting it can come across as though he's blaming me. I know he's not, it's just the way he communicates his anger sometimes. I don't mind avoiding this exchange, but at the same time, I'm his wife. He should be able to talk to me, to get this off his chest.

He was just back in the office unloading the first set of boxes. He should be eating lunch about now, but he doesn't have any money (or the company card) on him, and he just left for another load. Didn't even say good bye to me. Just, out the door, got in the van and took off.

I guess part of me is feeling selfish - hey, I'm hurt and angry, he's not allowed to be too! And even if he is entitled, I don't have the energy to deal with both of us right now.

Should I be worried that he won't let me in though? Or just step back and hope he calms himself down?


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
Jennifer99
♀ Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are nice to be thinking of him.

I think I am super mean. No bad day WH could have trumps the bad day I had when he told me he ILYBINILWY and was in love with someone else. So now when he has a bad day I just say "keep it away from me".

Surprisingly he does. None of them last very long without me as an audience either. If he is in a snit I usually say something to my son like "what fun thing would you like to go do?" and WH jumps off his ship of misery and goes and has a good time with us.

I understand you saying you don't have the energy to deal with both of your yucks. So don't.

Unless you are worried this is an A issue I'd just let him see what it is like to not have someone care if he's having a crappy day.

But you should not take advice from a crazy lady


Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
krazy8516
♀ Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are in an okay place right now, so I'm still able to have a little sympathy for him. Unless he was whining about "how I still don't trust him." That shit wouldn't fly for a second.

No, I don't think it's A related. But one of our biggest problems pre-A was communication. I'm not sure if an angry vent counts as good communication though.

He's texted me a few times since he left. I have mixed feelings about this. I'm glad he's not keeping it all in, but annoyed that he can text me, but not say good bye to me on his way out.


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
Jennifer99
♀ Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Texting is better than grunts.

Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have absolutely no sympathy for my WH when he is having a bad day now. He used to have bad days during his A and consistently let me know how much he hated EVRYTHING in his life.

I just don't have the patience to deal with his baby behavior anymore.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Topic Posts: 5

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