Topic: Do you tell IC everything
Member # 6263
| Posted: 5:36 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Ok here is my deal I haven't told my IC about us becoming swingers , my stupid idea so he wouldn't cheat . I hated it refused most of the time and felt traded for sex and in all honestly I was. Since I wasn't into it 100% cus I didn't like it and always only wanted him. Should I tell IC or it don't matter!!
Me 39, EX H 40 married 17 years infidelity on both parts . He a serial cheater. I cheated for revenge and ran home to brag. Or make Him mad. He confessed to more affairs after that. We are now divorced living apart . 3 children
Posts: 893 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: illinois
Member # 34823
| Posted: 5:42 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Posts: 7247 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 33226
| Posted: 5:49 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I do tell everything. If I am not honest with myself and my IC, my time and hers are wasted.
You can call me NIK
There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox
Posts: 22656 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 37898
| Posted: 5:54 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
My story is similar to yours. When we were together we told our MC everything. After STBXWW ceased therapy, I have continued in IC with the same therapist and tell her absolutely everything. That is what a good therapist is there for: don't hold back. Let it all out. It is cathartic.
All the best.
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
Posts: 1466 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 38378
| Posted: 5:55 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I tell everything.
That's why I'm going and paying all that money and I don't feel authentic otherwise...feels wasted, instead.
If you are judged or don't like the reply, you could always get another one.
Sometimes nothing we try to do is going to keep someone from cheating-it's not on us to try to keep it altogether, but on each one of us, responsibility, that is.
I'm sorry you were compromised and hope you won't anymore. Stick to what you believe in and be true to yourself!
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge
Posts: 1965 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Member # 32554
| Posted: 6:41 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Yes. You tell everything. Every embarrassing, shameful thing.
Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
Posts: 8782 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 34533
| Posted: 8:15 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Everything. You are trying to heal yourself, but your not being authentic to the one person who can guide you towards healing.
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
Posts: 592 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Member # 33129
| Posted: 8:51 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Absolutely tell. My IC is seriously the only reason I made it through the separation, the false R, and the final split. Seriously.
If you can't be honest with your IC maybe you need to find a different one?
divorced the Dooosh
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
Posts: 3238 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: ATX
Member # 39987
| Posted: 9:23 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Yes! That's the only way they are going to be able to help you put all the puzzle pieces back together and help you be whole and strong again. Plus, you can almost bet that they have heard it all and more before you sat down in their office.
Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore
Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Southern Indiana
Member # 36307
| Posted: 9:45 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Open your heart, the truth will set you free.
BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
Posts: 552 | Registered: Jul 2012
|Topic Posts: 10|