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User Topic: Loosing track of time. Is this normal?
2married2quit
♂ Member
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dday was June of 2012. Sometimes I feel like it's still summer of 2012. Last fall and the Holidays are a blur. I only really remember more from April of this year on. Sometimes when I'm writing down the date I start I think it is June 2012. I have to remind myself that it is 2013 and we have passed DDAY.

Anyone experienced anything like this?


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1397 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup. There were times I would find myself in the front of the school to pick up the kids with NO memory of how I got there, or in the middle of the grocery aisle with no recollection of how I got there or WHY I was there.

There were lots of things/time frames that are a blur. I know what happened, but there's no way I can pin point even a general time frame to attach it to.

Scary stuff.

It has gotten better over the years, but there are still times I can't place from back then. Now it just old age, not trauma that causes it...

[This message edited by unfound at 6:56 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)]


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14861 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
Thinkingtoomuch
♀ Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Such major stress causes loss of memory. It happened to me in my 1st months post Dday. Felt it later to a lesser degree. Still notice it some days. I lost each parent the following year after DDay, 3 months apart when I was still grieving loss of xwf relationship.

It's been 2 1/2 yr. since Dday. Xwf left right away and that was that. We had lived together for 7 years engaged. We never really talked about it afterwards and life changed instantly the way I knew it and he was gone that day. Very traumatic.

Hate the loss of memory. It does get better but is scary at first. Take good care of yourself, drink enough fluids, eat healthy, eat berries, nuts, etc. to help your brain cope and heal. Dehydration causes and aggravates memory loss and other health problems.

[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 9:57 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 816 | Registered: Apr 2011
Thinkingtoomuch
♀ Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I just want to add, I could write a encyclopedia on all the extreme stressors that also happened these last 2+ yrs. The A just left me open to a mega-effect of everything else.



Posts: 816 | Registered: Apr 2011
sodamnlost
♀ Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For awhile after Dday I would spend 2-3 hours photographing a client and have NO memory what-so-ever of doing the session. Luckily I knew how to shoot still when I was a zombie.

Now I lose days/weeks/months it seems. Sad and scary ;(


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I forget.


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 357 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
curiouswiz
♀ Member
Member # 34405
Default  Posted: 4:40 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for this thread! I am lost so often just standing wondering what I'm doing here? Why am I here? What's the day of the week is a question I need to ask throughout the day.

I met my atty. in local deli one day, there was just me, him and the young cashier. He asked: "So, did you start the walking regimen?" I said what? Huh? He said when we talked 2 days ago you told me you were going to start walking again.

I was dumbfounded. Had no recollection of the conversation and I couldn't even hide my confusion. He told me we talked for five minutes! I have NO memory of that, none. I was so embarrassed in front of the clerk and just said that's not good.

I'm sure they both thought I must have been shit faced! I was driving during this conversation and had stopped to see if he needed a ride. We talked for 5 minutes!

I asked him if I was drunk??? I know I couldn't have been because I was driving! If I drink I have 2, only 2 ever! The small town we live in will snatch your license and you'll cry when you get the bill.

I told him last week that I talked to the doc about that and asked again if I was drunk. He said we talked for FIVE MINUTES! I said that I know if I was that drunk he would have taken the keys away from me and/or reported a dangerous driver immediately. He looked at me stunned because he knows that as well as I do. He would have stopped me.

I've lost days, hours, minutes, seconds. Precious time that I'll never get back and I don't know why it happens. It's frightening!

But sometimes I guess it's a good thing?? I think my mind is protecting itself. Other times? It's just roll on the floor holding your belly laughing at the craziness of it.


God bless us, everyone.

Posts: 633 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Boston
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My memory seems to have abnormal extremes now.

Every date of every event of pain is etched into my brain. This is not me I do not remember dates. I have to think about my sons birthdays!

I do in home decorating consults. If the customer comes into the store I have now clue who they are. Over and over, since I recognize this I am trying to make a conscious effort to remember and even that has not helped.


Saying out loud,"what am I doing?" not good at work.

Feel like I am living under water.


"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divor


Posts: 1418 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
2married2quit
♂ Member
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to see I'm not the only one. Not that I would wish this upon anyone that is.

I started a journal so I can look back and see how I felt certain days. Other wise, I look at last year's calendar and hardly remember the Holidays at all.


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1397 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
Thinkingtoomuch
♀ Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Many times someone will say "oh, you remember in October, when..." Nope.

Very embarassing. And I have to make up an excuse or just deflect the truth in our conversation.

I read everything I can get my hands on about the subject of improving brain or memory function, and focus on the positive articles that state you CAN get your memory back.

I read on SI a long while ago how others were having memory problems, and that it had happened to me. The memory loss felt odd and was a little obscure at first til I realized it was happening to me more than I thought. That's one of the reasons I knew I had something like PTSD.

It's been hard since I lost all my older coworker peers during my job "squeeze" and now have much younger coworkers. Their brains are more resilient to stressors. I know it affects everyone, but as we get older the brain and body do change.

I am glad this subject has come up again.

Hope springs eternal.


Posts: 816 | Registered: Apr 2011
mixedintherut
♀ Member
Member # 40330
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes! I have never been one to remember dates. I don't even remember the date of our engagement, although I know I had a second cousin born that day, so I could always find out.

Much to my surprise, I remember every date, from the first go around. My first inkling to this second ordeal was on the 3rd of August, and dday was August 16th. All of the days in between, I can't tell you one specific thing from any given day!

It makes me so mad! The first time my daughter was 6 months old when he left, and there are things that I don't remember that are such big mile stones for little ones. I don't remember when she started crawling or walking, or anything.

I have had several people get mad at me when I tell them, "I don't remember." It may have happened a week ago, or 10 minutes ago, and I may or may not remember it.

It's as if your a zombie, walking through the motions.

I had a wreck a few months after WH left the first time, and honest to God, I don't know why, or how it happened. I remember "waking up", and I had hit someone. Luckily it was a very small rearend wreck, but I was scared to drive for a while after that.

It's tiring going through the motions, but not feeling like your truly living a life.


DD 1: PA 12/4/09 He spent 2.5 years with OW1
R: 8/31/2012
DD 2: EA 8/16/13
BS: 26
WH: 25
1 young daughter.
Terribly disgusted. He refuses to give up his "friend". Headed towards D.

Posts: 136 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: kentucky
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it goes with being traumatized, especially when one is working on the M with a WS who doesn't completely get it.

Or...if you think you're already old....


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10343 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Topic Posts: 12

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