This is tough, this is going to be a long road.
How can I show her that I'm changing?
I have started IC and have done some reading, but I don't even really see her.
You did lie, and you did con. So, make up for that.
Want to change? Prove it to her.
Some reading? Do a buttload of reading. Even if you don't see her. It will make you a better person.
What can I do to prove it to her?
What are things you did?
If we did not have our son, she said she would have moved away (different city or state)
Well, don't mean to sound harsh here but . . .
Wayward is not the place for a BS to try to not sound harsh. Wayward is a place for BS's to not be harsh period. Please reread the forum description and the top post in this forum.
Never be afraid of the truth
What does that look like? It's different for everyone, but if she needs space, give it to her, offer support when ever you can, respect her boundaries.
You have a son, what are you doing to support her and him? Even if she doesn't want to see you, are you still seeing your son?
Good luck, I hope you find your way to R.
The other thing of course, was his actions. He backs up what he says with what he does.
Unfortunately, with you guys living apart, this becomes much harder to show her. The good news is that she will still text with you, so at least you have some form of communication.
As for her heart being closed, I'm sure she feels that way now, but may not feel that way forever. So, try not to lose hope.