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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Physically ill
Nicnac
♀ Member
Member # 40131
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has all of the emotional turmoil made anyone else physically ill?

I've had a headache since Tuesday (Dday #2), wake up nauseous, the idea of eating makes me want to throw up, I'm having anxiety attacks when I leave my house and I am exhausted all the time.

Today I had to call out of work. I got up and got ready and then realized I just couldn't do it. I left early on Tuesday. I'm fairly new, I'm a little afraid that they'll fire me if I keep calling out.

Is this normal and how do I deal with it.


Posts: 80 | Registered: Jul 2013
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes this is completely normal.
Most of us veterans will tell folks that the primary three things you need to be doing for you is to make sure you are eating, staying hydrated, and getting sleep. (Get some protein shakes if you can't eat this gives you some nutrition). If you are too stressed or upset to do those things see/call your Dr. At a minimum you need something for the anxiety, a benzo like ativan or xanax, and many folks here also benefit from antidepressants.

If you are also having panic attacks you definitely need to. You also need to take some control of the situation, so that you don't continue to feel so lost.
Have you seen an attorney? If not do, I know you said you can't afford an IC for you, but have you looked into local resources? Churches, womens shelters, etc? Is there a teaching hospital in your area? If so contact them, frequently you can see someone for a discounted price because they are still under the direction of another.

Make a to do list, start checking things off.
Journal your feelings, and thoughts. Figure out what YOU need to move forward.

((((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8218 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
mixedintherut
♀ Member
Member # 40330
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very normal! I second a protein shake or meal replacement shake! It's all I could do the first week!

The nauseated feeling is still there, almost two weeks later!

Try to concentrate on yourself a bit. I agree with looking into Counseling. You may have to do some digging, but there are lots of places that do it at a discounted rate.


DD 1: PA 12/4/09 He spent 2.5 years with OW1
R: 8/31/2012
DD 2: EA 8/16/13
BS: 26
WH: 25
1 young daughter.
Terribly disgusted. He refuses to give up his "friend". Headed towards D.

Posts: 136 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: kentucky
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was like that for about the first two months....then my new antidepressants seemed to really kick in and smooth things out. THANKFULLY!

The first patch was AWFUl.

It gets better. Try to focus on you a little bit....


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1832 | Registered: Aug 2013
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ahh, the old infidelity/divorce diet. Perfectly normal (even though it sucks out loud).

Here's to hoping you feel good enough to get to work real soon as you don't want to risk losing your new job.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1710 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
Morhurt
♀ Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Could you tell your supervisor a bit about what's going on?
I'm a stay at home mom so going to work wasn't an issue, but I was such a mess at the beginning that H took 2 weeks off work to look after me and the kids.

If there's any way you can take some compassionate leave it would probably relieve your stress a bit.

I'm sorry for what you're going through.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 902 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
3Xthefool
♂ Member
Member # 40113
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Physical symptoms are a natural reaction to severely stressful events; hence, what you are experiencing is a normal reaction to the new situation.

I agree the others about making sure you take in at least a minimal amount of nutrition and fluids to maintain your physical health. I would add that exercise can also be of benefit. It not only contributes to overall physical health but the release of endorphins during exercise helps to counteract the stress hormones and provides some relief of the anxiety.

FYI: neurological symptoms can also occur. I for one experienced a sensation of something crawling under the skin over my left shoulder blade as well as a weird sensation of vibrations in my heels. Also increased my migraines from once a month to almost a daily occurrence.

The good news is that the symptoms dissipate gradually as you begin to move forward from this point.


Posts: 59 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New York City
pregnantandsad
♀ Member
Member # 40141
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, this was how I felt the entire first month. Felt sick to my stomach all day long, had a headache that lasted for weeks, and woke up every morning unable to breath and on the verge of a panic attack. I still have moments like these, but thankfully they are not constant like they were a month ago.


M 7 years, together for 12
2 kids- DD4 and a newborn
D-Day 7/2013 he didn't want R and moved in with OW
Filing for D

Posts: 155 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found that chicken or vegetable broth was really helpful early on. It provided some nutrition and was easier to put down than actual food when I was feeling nauseated, I made some fresh and then when I ran out I just used the bullion cubes. I have had it off and on in the weeks that followed especially in the mornings when the nausea was particularly bad.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 660 | Registered: Aug 2013
Nicnac
♀ Member
Member # 40131
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In addition to all the fun stuff I mentioned in my original post, I now also have itchy bumps all over the back and inside of my thighs. They are big, like bug bites, but def not bites. Hard to explain...they aren't pink from scratching, they are RED, like blood blister red and hard. And they don't open when I scratch them, like mosquito bites. I don't have then anywhere else in my body and my daughter doesn't have any, so I don't think they are bites. But they itch like a bitch and are not pretty :(

Posts: 80 | Registered: Jul 2013
AppleBlossom
♀ Member
Member # 38541
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nicnac, when I get stressed I get itchy as well, with welts on my body. It can be caused by stress, but this might be a good opportunity to go and see a doctor and perhaps see if you can have some medication to get through the worst of it.

There are some over the counter medications that can help with nausea, which is caused by an excess of acid in the tummy. Your stomach generates more acid when you are stressed as part of the "fight or flight" reflex. Zantac is good, or the liquid products can also help.

if you can eat, see if you can eat bland foods. Protein shakes with a banana in would be great, and would help your tummy. I would also think about herbal teas, such as camomile for the nerves and peppermit for gastric issues.

A walk every day might help clear your head, too, and gives you the benefit of some exercise.

I hope you feel better soon.

I hope you start feeling better soon.


Posts: 154 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Australia
Thefly559
♂ Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is not only normal , it is text book . I had to read tons of books to understand the symptoms and feelings my body was experiencing . We are going through a severe traumatic experience! Severe! It is equal to PTSD which is what people come home from WAR with! For me , when I knew she was cheating and divorcing me and trying to drive me from my home even before d day , I was curled up in a ball , no food ,drink ,work , friends,family , I was throwing up , I had severe headaches , trouble breathing , I hit a severe depression . Then after d day I moved onto anger and I don't care what any book says for me I will stay with anger toward her till I die! What I did and it worked for me , I hit the gym, yoga, boxing, motorcycle, work,and anything else that focused on me and my kids. I started eating healthy and stopped trying to control her actions. I read books and journaled . These things worked for me and I hope they do for you if you choose to try them . Just know you are normal and not alone in this battle we are all here to lean on . I wish you all the best , Stay strong!


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 628 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
sad81712
♀ New Member
Member # 37418
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a headache and stiff neck for months. I lost a scary amount of hair about 4-5 months after finding out. I also had a hard time remembering things and did odd things like stop at green lights while driving. I was told by my doctor that this is all from my emotional trauma. Xanax helped me with anxiety attacks and a small amount of Paxil helps me with depression and keeping a clear head.
stay strong....I've felt your pain ((hug))


Dday 8/12
thing are better but not the same....
Dday #2 10/13 b/c of TT
8/14- We're in R

Posts: 35 | Registered: Nov 2012
Recycling
♀ New Member
Member # 40495
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes to protein shakes. I lost 20 lbs after I found out, and I'm just starting to stabilize. Solid foods turned me off, so I made a lot of super healthy acai and kale smoothies with scoops of protein powder.

I'm sorry we don't have a solution to turn off the physical pain. It takes time as most of us can attest to. Let yourself rest, let your friends/family be there for you. Take care of yourself <3


"He doesn't care. Let it go."

Posts: 14 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: United States
Recycling
♀ New Member
Member # 40495
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost a scary amount of hair about 4-5 months after finding out.

Weird, I had the opposite effect. My hair and nails grew like crazy! Nearly two inches of hair in a month, and my nails were super strong. My theory is that my body went into crisis/survival mode and toughened itself up for impending peril.


"He doesn't care. Let it go."

Posts: 14 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: United States
velvetglove
♀ New Member
Member # 38786
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nicnac, what you are describing sounds like hives. They are technically an allergic reaction, but can show up for other reasons. I had them on and off for a year when I was particularly stressed. If they don't go away, you might want to try an antihistamine like Benedryl and see if that helps. I ended up having to take steroids sporadically until they eventually went away on their own as abruptly as they came.


Me: BW (33)
Him: STBXH (37)
DD: 9 mo
He walked away from his wife and infant to live a fantasy life...

Posts: 31 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 16

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