He is very touchy feely. It's obvious that physical touch is his first, second, third, fourth, and fifth love language. Not even kidding. This kid is a cling monster.
He's also very short tempered and easily frustrated. If he can't understand or figure something out on the first try, he will loose his mind. Gets angry, throws it down, talks down on himself, and stalks away. I've been working on him with that. It's ok to fail. We just have to keep trying, believe in yourself, etc.
He's had a serious crush on a 17 year old for almost 2 years now. We're talking, serious obsession. He found out she had a purity ring and was "married to Jesus" and oh my gosh, the fallout! He cried for 2 months. He is always talking about his girlfriend and when they get married. When he sees her, he has to talk to her, stand next to her, sit next to her, you get the idea.
What in the world people??? I'm not encouraging this behavior. I'm not discouraging either. Just pretending I don't see/hear it. I'm hoping it's a fad but I wonder if he's subconsciously aware that when he gets big, he has to leave home and he needs someone with him when he does? He is very smart. His vocabulary is amazing. While he throws his tantrums, he's pretty mature. Would an almost 5 year old be aware of these kinds of things?
I just don't know how to maneuver this. If his LL is touch, I want to support that, but I also don't want to enable and encourage co-dependent behaviors. His future partner will hate me for that. How to I train him to self-sooth? How do you even go about that with a touchy-feely person that's 4, almost 5?
"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
Is it possible he has some sensory issues?
He sounds an awful lot like my son when it comes to the meltdowns when he couldn't get something right the very first time he tried. The tantrums! OMG!!! Ages 3-6 were sheer hell sometimes.
My son had two issues going on... He had Sensory Integration Disorder which manifested in a sensitivity to noises and language processing and also gross and fine motor coordination. Occupational Therapy for 1.5 years corrected these issue for the most part. His writing is still a mess.
His other issue is that he's tested very high on IQ tests and is now in the gifted program. It's not really an "issue" except that his brain was way ahead of his physical capabilities and it caused him a lot of frustration when he was 4 and 5.
I'm not saying your little guy has SID. but I'd guess he's pretty high on the IQ scale.
Just my thoughts.
He may have some sensory stuff going on. It might just be a stage he is going through.
Try reading the book "my out of sync child" that book really made me go wow this is all about my kid. I had no idea what sensory issues were before reading this book. It helped explain a lot. Maybe it will help?
[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 5:23 AM, August 31st (Saturday)]
Not to be blunt, but stop worrying about love languages and enabling and co-dependent- those are adult concepts that you are projecting onto the child. They have nothing to do with it. Kids that age do not worry about what happens when they are old enough to leave home, they are not capable of thinking that far ahead.
He possibly has some sort of attachment disorder, or sensory processing issues, or aspergers. Get him evaluated.
[This message edited by Eranda at 6:39 AM, August 31st (Saturday)]
those are adult concepts that you are projecting onto the child. They have nothing to do with it.
You home school right?
Is it possible he has some sensory issues?
Raising kids is hard.
[This message edited by scaredyKat at 10:20 AM, August 31st (Saturday)]
He ha all the resources and help he needed. He also had serious impulse control and breaking point issues. When he lost it it took him a long time to get under control especially when there wa a lot of external stimulus. Through his IEP and BD/LD teachers we were given the tools to help him. So sure he had a label but now is a fully functional has a great understanding of how he is different and why it's a good thing. He is 16 in honors classes, and has great friends He is happy and well adjusted.
He ha a friend however that he bonded with in kg who ha a lot of the same issues his mom didn't want a label she also opted not to medicate. This boy was also brilliant. He is now home schooled because he failed out of private high school, got kicked out of public high school has had some serious drug issues and a pretty rough go. It killed me to see my kid not fit in and struggle as a little guy but I cannot imagine the pain and grief his friends parents and he have gone through because he wasn't given the right resources and support all because mom didn't want a label.
Embrace it for what it is and work with it. This helps you help him more than you can realize.
It does sound as though he is brilliant and has some sensory issues. I found with my guy at 4-5 he was big enough to understand if I warned him when things were gonna happen that he had trouble with like being in a large group. I would also tell him how to escape it. By first grade he was able to shut out all the external stuff by reading. So if he knew it was about to get crazy in the classroom he'd pull a book out and start reading. So for these kids you definitely have to think outside the box of norma for their age. I always talked to him like an adult it worked. Let's face it how many first graders are capable of reading the entire Harry Potter series, but mine was. It kept him in the class and taught him how to self sooth.