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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I ended the dance
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would not respond to her. It's easier to ignore their threats and only respond when they follow through with those threats. Everything she is threatening to take away is covered in your decree so you are protected. I would let my attorney respond when she breaks an agreement in the decree.

She's pissed because she is loosing the alimony, not getting more money from you and because she isn't getting her way.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
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Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I interpret her wording to mean that she thinks she should have more money based on the allotment of time and perhaps stuff she does with them or buys.

FWIW, I have very, very serious money issues and I am the BS but would not in a million years consider asking Perv for money for things that she is asking you for, GaHurts. I am getting no frills, no extra, no alimony, I am basically cut off as my own person from him though he is upper middle class, he is paying the bare basic CS that our state deems appropriate.

I have too much pride that came back, I think and I also don't want to interact or be seen as bitter or whatever in any, way and so we go without. We simply don't do activities that cost money or it happened that electronic/technology things are his area anyway.

I completely understand your thoughts on your children having a phone, esp. if there is a difficult time between the two of you with communicating, as your kids age hopefully you can work more with them and not her in between...

And no, FWIW to have another opinion, I would worry that if you "threw money at her to shut her up", it wouldn't be the end of her asking. Our divorce decree has terminology in it regarding this area of money and also there is terminology that says something like "no other words or deal or situation will override this document." The CS money is in there based on what the state deems appropriate and that's's as the others say, to go back to court and spend oodles to get it changed.

I also wouldn't want you to have a hard time with the legal system if you changed the amount aside from the rules determined.

One thing that we do also, is in regard to things for our daughter as she mentions that cost more-we save them for gifts and discuss it ahead of time so that neither parent is left out or the other made to feel worse or like a competition.

She reminds me of my mother and sister, who want more out of life than they have the monetary means to accumulate or do-instead of no for an answer or earning it themselves, they seek people as sources to fund their desires-whether it's travel or stuff, instead of "no", as I have, they find someone to do it for them-provide the money-and it often doesn't get paid back. (Both NPD) I don't want that for you.

Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 2290 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
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Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One quick thing to add - if you want to allow the kids to get the "extras" she mentions, there is an easy solution.

Pretty much any electronic entertainment has a gift card option. Give gift cards to the kids for XBox and Kindle purchases (the Kindle one is a little more problematic, as it is really just an Amazon gift card, which could then be used by your XW for anything on Amazon. You can gift books themselves, but that means you need to know the book to gift.)

And if you are paying for the phone service, as someone else said... just get the replacement phone yourself. In fact, if the account is in your name, I think you pretty much need to be the one who gets it.

ETA: When I said allow the kids the extras, what i meant was if you want to pay for them to have those extras. She is free to give them those all she wants... on her dime.

[This message edited by osxgirl at 3:59 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)]

Posts: 2405 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
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Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


give her the crickets she deserves.

The way I read it is since she knows you have proof of the A, which if I understand correctly can be used in GA, then if she can bully you into submission she gets to avoid that, oh such unpleasantness. (of having her A recorded in court! Yikes!)

In this day and age, they are standards that most kids get

I respectfully disagree with this. In today's economy many, many children do not get these. These are things that are luxeries. My kids never got the latest,and greatest, but they still grew up to be very productive adults.

Keep up the great work, ga!

Me: BS
Him: WH

Posts: 1304 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
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