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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I made a list
Phoenix9572
♀ Member
Member # 39987
Wink  Posted: 2:38 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today I sat down and started a list of all the things that I am not going to miss about my STBxH. I was hoping that by taking some time to focus on all the things I did NOT love about him would help me to let go some of the feelings I still have for him.
Anyone else do this and dare we share the lists here?


Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Southern Indiana
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From time to time, we've had people posts "things I won't miss about X" threads. They are usually therapeutic, and ALWAYS hilarious.

As long as there's nothing that personally identifies the X, go for it.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25290 | Registered: Aug 2011
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A complete list would take a LONG time.

I've shared some of the more ridiculous on a couple of the posts nowiknow23 mentioned.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Phoenix9572
♀ Member
Member # 39987
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's what I started so far:

Things I won't miss:
snoring
farting
missing the toilet
lying to me
cheating on me
bullying me
unsatisfactory sex
bad temper
having to take 2-3 craps in the morning and stinking up every bathroom on the main floor
listening to him brag about how people would be talking about him and something he did
matchy-matchy
hogging the bed and covers
same lame jokes time after time
his wardrobe at home only being team sports shirts
saying he can't wear red with blue jeans
the stupid white tan line on the side of his big head from his sunglasses
hurtful things he would say to me
being stuck in the 70s for music
his OCD about his car
his belches when he would get up from the table or the couch
the way he blows his nose.


Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Southern Indiana
Sparkles
♀ Member
Member # 39901
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've thought of a few things I won't miss:

listening to him blathering on about conspiracy theories.

listening to him whining about the kids.

having to come up with theories about why he's so great and correct about everything and why certain other people don't appreciate his talents.

waiting around to schedule appts and vacations because he's so important and busy.

feeling awkward when we first meet people because, well, he's awkward.

trimming of ear hairs.

listening to him snoring all night.

Hey! This feels good!


Posts: 138 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: In a better place
alphakitte
♀ Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

smacking his lips when he eats

adultery and the attitude of entitlement


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 349 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol...my therapist told me to do this.

The gambling.
The flirting with other women on Facebook.
Having to "check up" on him because of all his shadiness.
All his clothes he bought that took up his half of the closet, the laundry room, the hall closets.
All the gadgets he constantly had to buy because he always had a constant void.
Starting a project and not finishing.
The laziness.
The constant "jerking" when he was sleeping.
Watching him lick his finger and dig into his huge belly button to get lint out. (seriously ewwww).
Falling asleep in ANY movie we watched.
Having to explain the plots of any movie that was any deeper than "Dumb and Dumber".
Having to explain what words meant.
Endless time in the bathroom because of constant constipation.
ALWAYS the last one out the door. "I'll be ready in 5 minutes". Finally 20 minutes later.
The normal, boring sex position. Always on his side so he didn't have to work too hard.


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a lot of the same ones as others, i.e., the snoring that forced me to use ear plugs, the same old lame jokes, the constant farting (the most gascious person I have ever known!), etc., but here are some others that top a very long list:

* the lip smacking when he eats (which just started a few years ago and drove me insane)
* his OCD about his truck
* his subconscious belief that he lives to eat rather than eating to live (food and meal times were a priority and this made it dreadful to watch my weight over the years)
* his hatred for eating alone (see above as it aligns)
* his hoarding
* his laziness
* being his personal secretary (goes back to his laziness)
* his inability to live within his means and the constant spending that has created a financial disaster
* his belief that he can buy his kids' love and affection
* his constant complaining, negative attitude about everything (extreme pessimist)
* his constant mocking and insulting comments, usually followed with a, "you know I am just joking"
* the blatant favoritism of his son over our daughters (he still doesn't think the girls have noticed)
* his extreme food pickiness and inflexibility (made meal planning a nightmare)
* his pouting when I would be reading (one of my favorite pastimes) because he was not the focus of my undivided attention
* his constant need to bother me if I just wanted to soak in the tub to relax (ruined any hope of relaxing) - goes back to the above and lack of attention
* having to get the same thing or better than anyone else (goes back to the uncontrollable spending above)
* his rigidness and stiffness (read, stick in the mud)
* the fact that his sense of humor (little as there was) did not match my own warped sense of humor and when I would find something humorous he would just have a blank look because it went right over his head
* his unwillingness to simply have fun and try to enjoy life
* and, of course, the lies, deceit, secrecy, cheating, and disrespect

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 10:05 PM, August 30th (Friday)]


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1089 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Even though we are in house separation, there are already many things I don't miss!! I keep away from him as much as possible.
I won't miss:
Biting my tongue to keep the peace.
His voice
His face
HIM!!!!!!


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 626 | Registered: May 2011
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I heard that is helpful. My WW is so selfish. Of course the final act of cheating shows just how selfish. I did the housework, I did the finances, she lost multiple jobs, she never asked how my day was, birthday presents maybe twice in our relationship, never an anniversary gift, Two new cars in 8 years (me, a ten year old truck). Ridiculous spending habits, no concern for the future, lazy. Took phone calls when we were out to dinner. Took my phone upgrade every year (always the latest and greatest for her). Messy. Cover stealing.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 747 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:04 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The lies.
The cheating.
The blaming me for all of it.

I could go on and on. But those three alone are enough for anyone to be happy being divorced.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5653 | Registered: Nov 2007
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trying to figure out his ass backwards thinking.

His Debbie-downer attitude about anything that wasn't for and about him.

Having to anticipate him blowing large chunks of the household income on some whim. "It was on sale!" was his usual excuse. "I need this for my studio to start making money!" was the other...He spent $50,000+ on his studio (which he abandoned as effortlessly as he abandoned the marriage/family). How much has he made with that "studio"? Approximately $100 Only $49,900 and he would have been *close* to breaking even.

His feet. They could probably peel wallpaper.

The way he would initiate sex. He had 3 moves..Grab me, pout and/or make a passive aggressive comment about how I'd have sex with him more if I was more attracted to him/ he wasn't so fat/I loved him more/etc. Nothing says sexy like a grown ass man pouting and being passive aggressive!

Every single NPD trait that I thought was just him being...him. I knew I was dealing with an overgrown child but I didn't know it was a "special" type of overgrown child!


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 12

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