Is MC on the table? He needs a dose of "get it" pretty quickly. I'm heartened by the fact that you feel he's being transparant, but the remorse factor is lacking here.
I shut down.
DD#1 July 28, 2010 Admitted to EA. A went underground.
DD#2 August 19,2010 Admitted PA
I certainly hope that's not the case here buy please keep your eyes open and go stealth mode. It raised a bunch of red flags the multiple locations the I was too busy. It just doesn't feel right.
I hope you have a plan on how you will manage if he were to break NC or cheat again. If not I would definitely get my ducks in a row.
It does seem an odd reaction by your husband if you presented your requests and feelings without rubbing his A in his face.
I agree that a WS should not get angry or lash out on requests that are reasonably made from a BS....and your requests are well within reasonable. I even think they should have more than average patience during activities that were affair related.....
It is troubling....I haven't had this exact experience but here is what happened to me recently.
I requested my wife take a Love Indicator quiz. She said she would take it later that day.
That was 3 days ago...still nothing. I have let it go, but it does seem curious to me that sometimes WS just don't put the emphasis on the BS that there should be...remorse is lacking I guess.
I also have to kindly remind my wife to let me know of her schedule and text me throughout the day....she sometimes forgets.
So.....I guess I don't really know what to say to comfort you. You are one of the members I follow closely.
I believe you are doing what you should be doing....presenting what you need in a calm reasonable manner. I say this because he DID agree to do certain things, and then failed to do them.
My wife is in IC...and is looking to find us a new MC...but, like my quiz request, this appears to be a lower priority for her.
To be honest....none of what she has done recently (or not done) are deal breakers. But it is part of the 180 I am in. I am stepping back from repeated requests and leaving topics that she said she would tend to in her hands.
I am taking note of how she prioritizes her life and her actions. Thus far it is not looking all that great....but she is a strong Avoider....and throughout our marriage I have carried the weight of pushing to get things done. So it could be that it is just taking her some time to face that which she is not use to facing.
But what you are doing is not really along that line, is it? You are moving around the trigger minefield and are asking him to calm your fears and help you through it safely....he is NOT willing to do this.
I am sorry.
Trust your gut.
If I would have recognized the uneasy feeling in my gut last summer I would have more quickly uncovered my wifes adulterous behavior.
I know better, so I will do better.
This would be great advice for your husband to repeat until he owns that sentence for himself.
God be with us all.
The yelling and lack of caring obviously points to getting some aid
The stealth mode is to reassure or to protect yourself