honestly, i don't know why you put up with this.
You're the one who was betrayed.
I think you need to lay down what you will accept and be truthful. In other words, if she doesn't come to the party heart and soul, just tell her you're going to move on.
unless you are content to put up with this nonsense the rest of your life.
but if you're not strong enough to walk away, nothing will happen. It's pretty apparent to me that she's calling the shots.