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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Update: porn video list & location
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:38 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I actually did look under the house! No videos there. If they ever were there, they're gone now.

I counted the titles on the list. I thought there were dozens, right? I was wrong. I counted either 192 or 198 titles. I don't remember which it was now 'cuz just when I finished the count one of my kids came to find me & I had to quickly hide the list.

VENT: How come people in the real world think stuff like this is horrifying, but no one in the world that has any power to protect my kids does? How come the combined weight of all the things I've found amounts to zero? How come if we were staying married I would get all kinds of support from "the system", but as soon as we're getting divorced I'm just a hysterical, overly-dramatic, overprotective mom who is incapable of making reasonable statements?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9640 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 12:41 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((NG))))))))

It sucks. No answers, just support.

It sucks.

You are doing a great job of keeping your children safe!


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 1:04 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My XH is a SA who is addicted to porn. I caught him watching it in front of my kids. After that I never left him alone with the kids. A few months later he was out of the house. We decided to do MC.

I brought it up in MC. She was obligated to report it to CPS and she did. He was out of the house and the kids weren't with him alone so there wasn't anything for CPS to do. If I had let him stay in the house though CPS would have taken my kids.

When all this was brought up to the courts and when I tried to keep him on a supervised visitation...the court decided he didn't need supervised visitation. That's funny because CPS did think he needed supervised visitation.

Yep, CPS viewed me as protecting my kids and being a good mother while the court viewed me as the crazy, vindictive ex wife.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4775 | Registered: Feb 2008
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:21 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does anyone know, when you buy porn vids from private suppliers (I don't actually know what these kind of businesses are called), can the vids be on floppy disks? 'Cuz there are hundreds of floppy disks all over the house and garage. They're labeled like they're work stuff, but I know that one of them has porn on it because I looked at it. Is it possible that these vids are truly in plain sight? That these work floppies aren't work at all?

How are videos formatted?

Is it illegal to have videos of rapes? How would you know if a rape video was a genuine rape or a fake rape?

My God, how is it that my life is in a place where I ask questions like this?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9640 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 5:20 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry you are dealing with this and no one is taking this crap seriously. Can you get the local police department to help you or child services (or the equivalent in the USA)?

I would be careful in searching for answers online in case he is actually trying to set you up with incriminating search histories.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1331 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
PurpleBirch
♀ Member
Member # 39170
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The more I read about people like him, the more I think I'm so naive about the world.

((hugs)) NG. You have my everlasting admiration for having to deal with this shit.


Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.

DS (6), DS (18 months)

Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".

Status: Done like dinner


Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The frozen North, eh?
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG, you're my hero for taking all of this stuff on, and doing your best to protect your kids. I wish I had answers for you.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1896 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would personally get law enforcement involved. If any of that involves child pornography, I don't know how you might be implicated for having it. If they do find illegal content, that might be just what you need in court to prevent him from having visitation, and maybe you'll even get him thrown in jail.

I can't believe that the courts turn a blind eye to all of this. That's disgusting.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3596 | Registered: Oct 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NG)))) I would talk to law enforcement. Show them the list, ask them what to do.

Continued strength coming your way.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25287 | Registered: Aug 2011
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Porn hasn't been on anything but CDs & DVDs for about 15 or 20 years. And it's been a good decade that you actually need to buy anything given all the free shit online. So do you mean floppy disks as in those square plastic cases from the 1990s? Or do you truely mean floppy disks that are the actual floppy ones from the 1980s?

I think if you have any type of e-storage device in your house & you don't know what's on it, it needs to be destroyed. I wouldn't waste time with the police, or even trying to access the storage devices. No matter what it is you don't need it so just collect & get rid of it.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3078 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you hsve any computers with a floppy disk drive it's possible he could saved them on a floppy but would a floppy be large enough to hold movies? My XH used computer disks to download porn on the internet.

You need to try and get a GAL assigned to your kids. They have a lot of weight with the judge and if your judge doesn't listen to a GAL there is something seriously wrong.

I think your XH is probably the worse we have seen here on SI and I can't believe the court(judge) isn't doing a damn thing to protect the kids. Oh wait, I can believe it!


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4775 | Registered: Feb 2008
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you are talking about the old 3.5 inch floppies, there is not enough storage for videos, but they could hold short video clips or pics.

I agree with everyone else that you should contact law enforcement. Even if they don't do anything you at least have it documented.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1088 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NG)))
I hate that you have to deal with this shit.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4619 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
LifeIsBroken
♀ Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Call the police; better yet, stop at the police station. Explain the D situation, explain some of what you've already found or know to be true with regard to his perversion.... tell them about the floppies, voice your concerns as to you being afraid of what may be on them, ask if they can assist. If it is sicko stuff, let them deal with him. If it isn't, then that's one less thing you have to deal with/go through/look at. Don't just ditch them. I've read your previous posts concerning the garage clean out, etc. I feel so badly for you, NG. Dealing with the affairs is bad enough for all of us but when this kind of crap enters the picture, it becomes even worse (when we didn't think 'worse' was possible). Hang in and hang on; they say 'the truth will set you free.' I hope the truth about your worthless former H comes out sooner rather than later.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 482 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 2:04 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NG)))

Be very careful about what you do with these floppies. I know my XWH#1 had a lot of porn and was also going on porn sites on our computer using my login. During the D he tried to have my computer seized as evidence for HIM. I had to lie and tell them the computer died and I got rid of it. I had no idea what was on the hard drive that he was trying to use against me and I didn't care. It was just one of the many things he did during the D to try and get custody.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to chime in and add support but also that I would let the police know, too. I've done that with some of Perv's shenigans and they told me they were glad to have a "head's up" with his and OWs names.

I think it seems in your best interest, Nature Girl, self protection of yourself and house "just in case". We don't know what mode of thought your WH could be in or anything and it worries me for you and your kids to be a tad vulnerable in that way.

Perv did all of it on his phone and computer, though is a techy and I see stuff in the house like you mention, that lately makes me wonder, or the magazines in the bathroom, are they really about lions and tigers or technology?


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 16

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