Topic: Compulsive need to clean
Member # 38619
| Posted: 7:17 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013|
4 days. It will be the one year antiversary of DDay in 4 days and all I want to do is clean EVERYTHING!
WTF!?! I am not a neat freak. In all honesty I couldn't care less if my kitchen table has bits of glue and glitter on it. Or that there is a fine layer of dust all over everything. Hell, that's what I have a cleaning service for. But for the last couple of days all I want to do is clean out drawers, closets, cabinets, etc...
R is going well but I can't help correlating my need to clean with the day that my fWH told me he wanted a divorce. Is my subconscious telling me something besides the fact that I am apparently a condiment hoarder?
As always thanks for reading.
Does anybody ever need 72 packets of soy sauce?
"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo
Posts: 245 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
Member # 39636
| Posted: 7:28 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013|
first off don't throw the soy sauce away-you never know when you might need it.
That being said, I did a BIG clean soon after Dday. I even cleaned out the clothes closet and got rid of a ton of stuff. In a way I think I was tossing out all the old junk and leaving myself a clean,fresh place to start from. I viewed starting R as a new start to a new M. (we killed the old one, the A was just the final blow to it) So the cleaning thing fits.
Me: BW 42
Him: WH 47
Married 9 years-together 18
Dday: 6/17/2013 EA/PA(EA 1yr/PA 6mos-OW out of state)
status: Starting R 7/22/13
Posts: 145 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 34755
| Posted: 7:36 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013|
I completely rearranged our bedroom. Even though he never brought his AP's to our home, I just didn't want the reminder of our "old life" with our bedroom. I needed it to be different. We had an argument the evening before too, so I got my frustration out by doing it.
He came home and was completely shocked. He had no idea how I managed to move our heavy king sized bed. I recruited my two oldest children.
I clean when I'm frustrated, angry, sad, etc. It keeps my mind off of things.
BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12
My journey to survive from my husbands multiple affairs and sex addiction.
Posts: 1419 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: SamanthaBaker
♀ New Member
Member # 38102
| Posted: 8:57 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013|
I'm cleaning and tidying a lot these days, too, that are a sort of antiversary for me, too. I'm not a neat freak, too.I'm glad of this because for a long time after DDs I almost hated our house and what it meant. Now I care for it again and cleaning is a sort of 'reowning' it, of putting my mark on it.I see it in this period as an extension of myself.Then I'll buy something new that I like for the house. I see the end of this process as the start of a new period. Ah, I'm also going to cut and dye my hair and buy some new clothes!
Every cloud has a silver lining
Posts: 46 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: EU
Member # 38139
| Posted: 9:37 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013|
I tend to stockpile the fancy mustard packets from white castle. cant eat my sliders without them!!
I get where you are coming from. i seem to be on a constant clean cycle since DDay. It comes in spurts...but when it comes, man, we are breaking out the qtips to clean in the corners and my curb looks like a bad episode of hoarders on garbage day. Maybe its therapeutic....purging the old to make room for the new. setting your mind on a project...and finishing it...big boost the the self esteem! creates a sense of purpose, accomplishment. You can stand back, look at your work and be all like, yeah, i am bad ass!!
OW: My former "dear friend"/neighbor
Committed to R 7/8/2013
"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle"
Posts: 308 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 33247
| Posted: 9:49 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013|
Cleaning is extremely therapeutic for me in times of stress. It brings a sense of control and calm.
72 packets of soy sauce? I think I pitched about the same number of ketchup packets during one of my organizing fits.
Dday: June 2011
Working on R
The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
― Ernest Hemingway
Posts: 861 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 15902
| Posted: 10:17 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013|
WTF!?! I am not a neat freak.
It's a common reaction to stress and anxiety. Once the anxiety lessens, the compulsion should as well.
Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 29 years, Happily Reconciled
The moment you get angry while arguing with someone, is the instant you stop striving for the truth and start trying to prove yourself superior.
Posts: 5456 | Registered: Aug 2007
Member # 33202
| Posted: 10:42 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013|
I noticed this behavior right after Dday. I vacillated between not caring about anything and cleaning like a maniac.
I think it had to do with regaining some control over something since I had no control over his choice to have the A. I gave away clothing and other stuff because I recognized how truly unimportant those things were. I gave away clothes I purchased during the A time period. I would love to get rid of a beautiful antique table we bought together during the A, but I like it too much. I also insisted that we redecorate the bedroom and we did it together (he never had the AP to our house or cottage). It all symbolized a fresh start to a new M.
Posts: 603 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 39667
| Posted: 12:15 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013|
Supposedly it's your subconscious way of taking control and "putting order back into the world."
BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"
Posts: 549 | Registered: Jun 2013
|Topic Posts: 9|