I ALWAYS encouraged her, even though she never wanted to better herself.
For the last year of the affair (unknown to me of course) I was pushing her to go to nursing school. Took her to the school, introduced her to all my old instructors, helped her fill out her financial aid papers, her nursing school application, and helped her STUDY medical terminology
Then I found out about the affair.
So, I PRAYED and wished everyday that she would not make it. I wanted so badly for her to fail out. Thought she would have too since she was a high school drop out who went back for a GED and then failed out of hair school..
AND STUPIDLY, I went and looked up professional licenses today, and guess who the fuck is a Registered Nurse.
That's right. Now she has just another thing in common with me and my fWH.
I just can't wait until she applies to my fWH's hospital, or God forbid his floor he works on. I am just pissed and sick over this. I really hoped her 34 year old ass that is still living at home with mommy and daddy would have stayed a failure.
Feels like she walked away unscathed and went on to do big things, while I developed an addiction, quit my career as a nurse, continue to go to weekly IC even three years out, as well as seeing a psychiatrist for PTSD. And like her, I was perfectly happy in the things I had accomplished prior to dday. Fuck her. I hope she fails miserably as a nurse and has to take the worst nursing job out there.
"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
I just can't wait until she applies to my fWH's hospital, or God forbid his floor he works on. I am just pissed and sick over this.
I'm sick hearing this news. Your story has always stuck with me, Myheartstillhurt, and I've always admired how strong you must be to have lived through this.
If she does do something that repulsive, as try to work near him, would he quit his job? After everything she's put you through, would he stay far away from her and not risk triggering you any more?
((((((hugs)))))) I hope you two never have to cross paths with her and she stays far away from you and your H.
[This message edited by silverhopes at 1:33 AM, September 2nd (Monday)]
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.
Not the hospital however, which wouldn't be as bad, but it wouldn't be good either.
And my husband is 36 years old and really needs to stay at this hospital to build up some time in the slight chance there will be retirement when we reach that age. He has been working there four years at this time so starting over is not really something that is ideal..
AND seems so ass backwards as he was there first.
But, if it does happen, I am sure I will be sick over it and want to make irrational decisions.
Just because I'm a RN and she has polluted my profession with her skank.
She knew that I had agreed to never have children because he already had his own and didn't want anymore when we met. So when the A wasn't working as well and think she could feel him starting to pull away, she made sure she got pregnant (she had already told me that she & her H hadn't had sex in over a year). A few weeks after telling me this and after my H broke off the A, her husband came over and announced that "they" were pregnant - immediately, before thinking, I said "How did that happen?"
His reply, "It only takes 1 time." So once she figured out she was pregnant, she went ahead and slept with her own H one time to cover herself, just in case my WH still wouldn't leave me for her even though she would be the mother of his child.
This was the girl that I tried to encourage for years (we both did) because she was always so miserable. Her H was a jerk (or that was her story) and I kept telling her she didn't have to stay with him.
I got a tummy tuck in 2007 and she had all this loose belly fat and was as fat as I was or more so (200lbs). I was so pleased with mine, I tried to talk her into getting one to make her feel better about herself. She told me she would never be able to take that much time off of work. I now know, her thinking was, "he's fucking me more than you, so obviously, I don't need a tummy tuck"
She was "always" working, which soon became her excuse for why she couldn't do anything with me anymore, but always had time to hang out at our house. When we moved to our new house, I worked on my computer & watched tv in a room next to the living room, yet she always sat in the LR with my WH while he watched sports and still I suspected nothing!!! I figured out she liked him more than me, and thought she might have a little crush, but never in a million years could I imagine he would go there with this fat young daughter figure.
She is now in the Community Corrections system (baby prison) for fraud, theft and some other charges (though not serving any time for the $2500+ cash she stole from us through the years that we just figured out about a couple of years ago.) She is supposed to serve a 4 yr sentence, but will probably be out within 3 more months which means only 9 months.
I should be happy that she is in prison and has lost permanent custody of all 3 of her children to her now XBH, but it just doesn't seem enough. Reading your post makes me feel bad for you, and grateful that the "BITCH" is at least paying some consequences for her actions.
Sorry so long & didn't mean to hi-jack your post, but feels good to vent. I hate that BITCH & yours too!!!
Today is her birthday, which I struggled with last year, but barely even recognized it until I realized the date.
That alone is progress.
I still am not thrilled she somehow made it through school, but oh well. I do believe she will continue to be a bottom dweller, even if she has a decent income.
Hopefully our paths will just not cross. I am working on my Master's in Nursing Education and will be done in December 2014. At that point I plan to work in a school of nursing, so there should be no need for the two of us to ever run into each other at a professional level.
I really hope she stays away from my fWH's hospital.
How are you doing now? did she find a job? even my blood boils whenever I see every OW getting on with a normal life while BS struggles especially in several cases where OC is involved is particularly hurtful. OW in my case was an unknown face who just likes ti hit with married men but still it hurts like hell to know that she might be enjoying her gifts and life as someone's OW while my family stays in jeopardy, I am on the edge of madness my marriage's innocence gone forever and my husband stained forever and my child might loose their father and she just walks away.
Even I wanted to quit my job in the aftermath but never did because I realized its the only security and independence I have and was necessary incase I took D. So I have started compartmentalizing of my own. I use my job as an escape. for some time where you can forget your messy personal life.
Do know that we are all together and I am sure God has decided his own punishments for people. but this is still not enough when you see the OW just walking around freely.
Karma will get her. Bide your time. She'll lose her license or her job and realize she can not be you no matter what she seems to think.
I have no idea if she found a job. Finding that day stopped my snooping, as I FINALLY realized that snooping only causes me pain. Plus, at this point, it doesn't even matter if she gets a job. I haven't spke to her or seen her in 3 years, so there is a chance she is a different person today. I don't know, we all have the capability to change.
IC is working with me to quit allowing her to have this power in my life. I am seriously considering EMDR, as I want her out of me. Three years, and she still gets to me. This is just too long to allow someone else to have power over you. I know this in my head, but somehow can't get the awful feelings out.
Don't torture yourself with my story, there is always someone with worse. And betrayal is betrayal. All of us here are dealing with it. I am in such a different place (most days) than what I was when I arrived here. Life is much (MUCH) better.
niaveone: Yes, I know many nurses who are total idiots, and am amazed they passed NCLEX. I can only hope she searches and searches and gets only those RN jobs none of us want.