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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Well that was a little weird
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My XSIL, who is good friends with my sister and still touches base with me from time to time, had invited the kids and I over for a bbq. XW was there with her SO as well as many members of her family. It was ok and I enjoyed talking with some of those x-family members. But it was still weird. I guess this is pretty good to be able to do this for my kids at 5 years out from D.

[This message edited by MovingUpward at 7:42 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52316 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it speaks volumes that you were able to go and enjoy yourself, Moo. Did you know XW and her SO were going to be there?


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25499 | Registered: Aug 2011
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew that they could be there. They left within the 1st hour.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52316 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's great that you could do that. I'm not sure if I could, not that I ever expect to get an invitation like that. I suspect the only time I'll be in the same place with ex and wifetress, as well as my ex-in-laws, is when one of my kids gets married. Knowing my kids, they'd probably elope to keep that from happening, too.

[This message edited by inconnu at 8:29 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12151 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well kudos to you! Hiw did your kids react? It'll be a cold day in hell before that ever happens in my world.

My XSIL is a complete fake and a bitch and if I never see her again it will be too soon. And the Dooosh will never be welcome around my brothers, in fact that would be a very dangerous endeavor for him.

It is refreshing to hear of folks like you though. I'm glad you could reconnect with them. I'd rather jam a fork in my eye!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3604 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am 5 years out from D and could not do that. In my case In-laws were and still are rotten to me.

Bravo for Moo!

[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 8:50 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2683 | Registered: Jan 2010
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you, Moo! I couldn't do it, that's for sure.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7818 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You did good, Moo !
Yeah, guess I could do it for DSS or one of the GS. I would be thinking how thankful he wasn't my problem.
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20377 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You did good, dude.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15402 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:19 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AWK-ward.

You handled it like a champ. I'm glad they didn't stay for long.

(((Moo)))


If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts to be alive, you're a hero. - J. Winger

Posts: 17527 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:49 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you. I hope you had a good time after they left.

Always nice reconnecting with old friends. I am assuming that you are still friends with XSIL.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5160 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 5:25 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad it went well Moo. My son is making his confirmation this year and it will be the first time XW and I will have to be in the same room as each other. She has a fiancé who was not the OM. So I don't have any grudge with him. But XW and I have not exactly been friendly over the years. And at times it has been downright nasty. But within the last 6 months or so she has been civil. So I'm praying that we can celebrate our sons day without incident.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5675 | Registered: Nov 2007
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are a bigger person than me. i couldnt have done that.

I like how they left within the first hour though, heh


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3104 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that is wonderful that you were able to go to the bbq and handle it so well.

I know it had to be somewhat awkward, and I think it is neat when the parents are able to socialize in the same settings without any major negativity so that is awesome that you were able to go.

You have really come a long way


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15240 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is good to hear. I am still trying to deal with seeing ex and his bf at a "family function".

My BIL/SIL (his brother and wife) live in MY neighborhood. They moved here after I did. We discussed it and knew we need to tread carefully. They had a picnic a few months ago, and I couldn't bring myself to go. I just can't show up alone while he has gone on to have a "great relationship" and is now openly gay. I feel like people are talking about me.

I can be around ex and hang out without pain, but I just can't hang out ex and his bf without pain. I'm assuming that all happens with time.

I have hope!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4153 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

that's pretty darn good MU. way to go. I can't imagine it NOT being weird.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25596 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's great Moo, and I'm glad they left within the first hour. I also enjoy connecting with that side of the family, but I certainly prefer to do it without XWH nowhere in sight. Lol.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4560 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
dontknowwhyme
♂ Member
Member # 21587
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It gets easier the more you do it also. I felt it very strange at first but not too bad anymore. I used to be very close with the inlaws. They joke that they wish they had gotten me in the divorce.

I'm glad you were able to make that step. I'm sure the kids enjoy it.


BS 38
FWW 37 (fireandice)
Married 13 Years - Together 20
D-Day1:Jan 08 (EA OM#1)
D-Day2:8-15-08 (EA/PA OM#2)
DS12, DS9
D-Day3:11-3-10
Divorced 1-27-11
Remember, you don't drown from being thrown in the water. You drown from staying in it.

Posts: 999 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((MovingUpward)))))
Moo, that is good news! That means you are moving forward and healing just fine!

Posts: 2485 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Topic Posts: 19

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