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Newest Member: JJ99 (44613)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: WH Committed Suicide
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Such sadness for your family.
Hugs to you all.
My BIL committed suicide 2 year of my marriage. Let me just say it is important to seek support for each family member. The emotional needs and impact will vary by the intrapersonal relationship.
Be kind to yourself, mourn the father of your children with dignity and respect. You deserve that and so do your children.


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 607 | Registered: Jul 2012
neverbeokay
Member
Member # 8275
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is very sad. So sorry for your and your kids' loss.

[This message edited by neverbeokay at 8:55 AM, September 2nd (Monday)]


Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2005
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh sweetie, I am so very very sorry. I have been through it, only I was the teenager, and it was my dad who killed himself.

My advice - get all your kids into counseling as soon as you can, and don't let them (the kids) tell you they don't need it. They do, they will. Especially your son.

You all need to know, and repeat to yourself as often as you have to - this is not your fault. None of you are powerful enough to be able to control another person. None of you!

It's a horrible, horrible choice, but it's one that your WH made. He may not have been thinking clearly, but he alone is responsible for his decision to deal with his life this way.

This is not your fault. This is not your son's fault. Don't let him start believing it is, just because he feels like he didn't get there soon enough. It is not his fault.

Be prepared though, the range of emotions you all might feel will be very similar to the roller coaster after finding out about the infidelity.

Again, I am so very sorry. (((daysofmylife and kids)))


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12144 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so very sorry to hear this news.

Covering you all in prayer.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21039 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry...
{{{hugs}}}


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7886 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((DaysOfMyLife and family)))
I'm so sorry. sending strength.

Posts: 6489 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. I hope that your family will come together to help you through this.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3535 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry for your family. Your poor son having to find him! My dad committed suicide when I was 16. My mom was the one that went to his house and found him (they were divorced). I'm by case, my father was an alcoholic not an adulterer.

As horrible as this all is, it will one day be in the past. It's great that you got your son some counseling lined up already. The most important thing for you and your children to know is that this is not your fault and nothing you did caused this. This is a choice he made on his own.

You're in my thoughts. Please feel free to message me with any questions. I'm 21 years out from going through this so I have some perspective.

[This message edited by newlysingle at 9:22 AM, September 2nd (Monday)]


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 871 | Registered: Mar 2013
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry..


Dont get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.

Posts: 2625 | Registered: Jan 2010
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((doml & kids))))))))
I am so very sorry, honey. Sending you and your kids comfort and light.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24789 | Registered: Aug 2011
Sparkles
♀ Member
Member # 39901
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. I pray you find the strength to help the kids and yourself through this. (((hugs)))

Posts: 138 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: In a better place
rainagain
♀ Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry this has happened. Prayers and love for you and your children.


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((doml & kids)))

I'm so sorry. Sending strength and prayers.


Posts: 34491 | Registered: Mar 2011
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm am so sorry.

Hugs to you and your kids, and to everyone else who shared their stories on this thread who suffered something similar.

(((((HUGS)))))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37162 | Registered: Sep 2007
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

prayers and condolences.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2686 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your children. Praying for your family.
(((doml)))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7791 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
DaysOfMyLife
♀ New Member
Member # 40265
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all of the posts. It was nice to get on and see all of the support. The roller coaster I was on now has a few more loops thrown in!


BW (me) 36
WH 35 (deceased)
DS 16 DD 8
Together 12.5 years Married 8.5 years
D Day July 22, 2013
WH committed suicide

Posts: 17 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Alberta, Canada
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How awful. I'm sending positive thoughts to you and your family.

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
InTheRabbitHole
♀ Member
Member # 19319
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please don't forget to take of you as well. I'm so very sorry for your family to have to be dealing with this.

Posts: 198 | Registered: Apr 2008
Grace and Flowers
♀ Member
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, man, I am so sorry...especially that your son had to see that.

Sounds like you are a fierce, protective mama and will get the kids the help they need. Remember to get help when you need it, too.

Again, I'm just so sorry.


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1158 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
Topic Posts: 119
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