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User Topic: Chance to mess with OW's head
changedforlife
♀ Member
Member # 38474
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know there are many of you who will say not to let the OW have any space in my head and to direct my anger at my WH but I am not at the point yet. I am OK with having anger for OW. I enjoy the fantasy of messing with her head even if I don't actually do any of it.

Ever since WH has gone NC (as far as I can tell) this last time, OW has increased her cyber stalking of us.

She created a Linkedin account and has been creeping my WH's account. Her Twitter account had been private but she since opened it up in the hopes of WH reading it, I'm sure. She sent me an email playing the victim and blaming me for the end of her marriage because I contacted her BH. She created a Pinterest account and has been looking at my pins and pinning things hoping I will see them. Quotes such as "Don't keep calm, slap that bitch hard" and "A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere" and "Revenge, nah. I'm too lazy. I'm going to sit here and let Karma fuck you up." etc, etc.

Anyway, I would never have known she was stalking my pins except she must have hit follow on one of my boards by accident or she did it on purpose to let me know she was out there in Pinterestland. I got a notification that she is following a board that I created for websites to check out.

So here is where I could mess with her head if I wanted to. I would love to pin a bunch of websites so she would see all the ones I pinned on her homepage. I would love to flood her homepage with all my pins for websites about cheaters, etc. What are some good websites that would really make her go "hmmm"?

As I said, I probably won't do it because I also have other friends on pinterest that would see my pins that have no idea what is going on. It's mostly just a fantasy thing.


Me - BS/Him - WH (in our 40's)
Together 21 years/ 1 preschooler
D-day - Jan 24/13 He confessed about affair.
Broken NC -Feb 7-22,Feb 28,March 6
Continued Contact up to July 16
D-DAY 2-July 19 FALSE R!

Posts: 132 | Registered: Feb 2013
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what would screw with her head even more? To know youre happy. Post places where you would like to vacation. Live your life. I know hou said this is fantasy revenge, but mostly the best revenge is a life well lived. Ow's on the whole (not all of them)are self proclaimed victims. Dont play into the game.


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not

Posts: 8210 | Registered: Sep 2007
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anything you do that is directed towards her will not mess with her. It will FUEL her. Period.

The biggest way to piss them off is to cut off the feed. I know I know, "Why should I have to give pinterest/facebook/twitter up?" Well, depending on how much of your life these things actually take up it can be quite freeing.

I axed pinterest and LinkedIn because COW was using them to keep her name under our noses.

She is playing YOU. She is doing this to drive YOU crazy, and it's working because you are spending time and energy thinking about her.

Even if you tell yourself you're keeping it to fantasy, you are giving her a place in your marriage by thinking about her whatsoever.

Nothing hurts them more than being on the outside of a brick wall. Please believe this.

She wins if you spend a second thinking about her instead of your marriage.

(((changedforlife)))


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16339 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with Jrazz 100 percent.

HOWEVER, I can certainly see the entertainment value in creating dream vacation or wedding vow renewal Pinterest boards. You know. Because it's fun.

(If you are going on a dream vacation or planning renewal, by all means do these things. But do it for YOU, not with the idea that it will give you any real sense of satisfaction vis-a-vis OW.

Because really, she doesn't care about you. At all.)


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8313 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
TxsT
♀ Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is how I screw with my OW....my Facebook page just oozes my happy family. My profile picture will ALWAYS be one with both my H and I smiling and happy. My friends that know just laugh. Everyone else just thinks we are such a happy bunch!!!!!

I love screwing her with happiness :o)

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
changedforlife
♀ Member
Member # 38474
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, ok...I know. I appreciate that you are trying to help me and show me the way.

Jrazz - Logically, I know what you are saying is true. But since I will be thinking about her anytime I think of the A which is still the majority of the day, I would prefer to think about making her life hell. Maybe in time that will change...
BTW, we have given up some online things but WH has to maintain some through work but I have the passwords to check on them.

I do love the ideas for posting vacation and wedding vow renewal pins. WH and I never actually got married due to finances, etc. so a board with eloping ideas would be fun - (NOT VEGAS!) Those ideas put a smile on my face!

TxsT - I love it!


Me - BS/Him - WH (in our 40's)
Together 21 years/ 1 preschooler
D-day - Jan 24/13 He confessed about affair.
Broken NC -Feb 7-22,Feb 28,March 6
Continued Contact up to July 16
D-DAY 2-July 19 FALSE R!

Posts: 132 | Registered: Feb 2013
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally hear you, changedforlife. I was in that exact same space for a long time. It took people hammering at me to get outside and think about something else before I felt free of this garbage.

I'm not judging at all, I'm just remembering my boot-camp training to true happiness and trying to plant the seed.


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16339 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
changedforlife
♀ Member
Member # 38474
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jrazz - I do thank you for reminding me of the ultimate goal and taking the time out to post. I really respect your opinions and wisdom. I am a work in progress. (Aren't we all!)


Me - BS/Him - WH (in our 40's)
Together 21 years/ 1 preschooler
D-day - Jan 24/13 He confessed about affair.
Broken NC -Feb 7-22,Feb 28,March 6
Continued Contact up to July 16
D-DAY 2-July 19 FALSE R!

Posts: 132 | Registered: Feb 2013
2married2quit
♂ Member
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL...Love it.

I think for me, the OM I rather him wonder. Wonder if he destroyed a home, wonder if we both hate him, wonder if he even mattered to us both. I think that to me is more disturbing to him since I know him. If he saw a photo of FWW and I together happy, he would probably be happy for us and feel like he really didn't do much damage after all. Not gonna give him the satisfaction.


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1221 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I run into I just make eye contact until she breaks it. I. Win. Every. Time!!!


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2073 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Lostinthismess
♀ Member
Member # 39210
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are some funny cheater ecards. Just search cheater or whore on Pinterest, tag her in the description. A dig on her, and she'll unfollow you quick. You let her know if she wants to play fuckfuck, you'll play along. She's not 'clever' by searching you out. Let her slink to her corner and pout. I'm a vindictive b though


Dday- 4/4/13
fwh- harrypotter
'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'

Posts: 330 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Ca
changedforlife
♀ Member
Member # 38474
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, damn! Looks like OW figured out that she hit the follow button and has since unfollowed me.

Thanks for the laughs and support!

PS. Now I'd love to find an ecard that says "Caught you stalking me! Now FUCK OFF!"


Me - BS/Him - WH (in our 40's)
Together 21 years/ 1 preschooler
D-day - Jan 24/13 He confessed about affair.
Broken NC -Feb 7-22,Feb 28,March 6
Continued Contact up to July 16
D-DAY 2-July 19 FALSE R!

Posts: 132 | Registered: Feb 2013
Topic Posts: 12

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