Now the trouble is that when I had my first affair with her we were not married just cohabiting, now she caught me sinking it deep into her sister and it got real ugly real quick but she hounded me to come back threw her own family away to try and get me back, now having kids complicated it, she made me have them every weekend, yes I did take them but only because she played the "daddy doesn't give a sizzle" tact and it was to make sure that two kids in tow I would not be getting into any relationships fast or at least not any that might be of substance.
I tried everything, I was banging the village idiots daughter who was very adorable but very simple, I made sure that went public as soon as I left her bed the first time, nope poor girl got a slap round the face in town and told to stay away from me , even her own family were telling her I was bad news, I really liked her, broke her into anal and deep throating and all sorts of shinanigans
Even tried to pass off that I was turning gay with a long winded charade about a machine driver I was working with, nope, still hunting me down and pleading/using the kids against me.
After about a year she was almost off my case, should have been sooner but she thought it an idea to try and re-kindle after she got back from my fully expensed guilt holiday, a month back packing in Thailand, at least I was home with the kids for a whole month alone, was so cool!!! So blew her off and kept to my guns, then met a lovely woman who I liked, kids same ages as mine, hit it off immediately, and broke her into all sorts off kinkiness too but that's a whole other thread, and basically wife came in all guns blazing as soon as she realized I was getting serious and she did everything to put an end to it, she could be very intimidating when she got angry and also got very physically abusive too!!! So under advice from all of my family I basically had no choice but to go back as she had burnt every single other bridge out of there, so let me see? three separate exit affairs in attempt to stop the wedding she was rail roading us into, nope, still won't throw me out only came to a head when I started banging her sister again, and confessed to another two separate affairs with co-workers.
So after trying to be free for over 4yrs I finally got my wish, she threw me out in 2008 and I have been busy putting my life back together since, now I am fully healed from my self abuse and wrong doing I feel I can help others or at least tell my story and be judged by anyone who wants to try
Long-winded charade indeed.
Welcome to SI. Please read over our Healing Library (on the left side of the screen).
What do you hope to learn and accomplish here on SI?
Were together 7+yrs, Ended R.
"I'm happily indifferent to the ones who have consistently been wrong" ~kd lang~
If you see a problem please contact a moderator. Thank you.
wow. You and your 'shenanigans' finally did your BS in, huh?
Reading that post, I am not sure how you can help other remorseful WS's heal.
What did you do to heal yourself beside being granted a divorce?
Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people
I have about 15 snarktacular things I feel like posting in response to your thread here.
I'll be kind, though. And just leave you with this: I hope you get the help you need.
Epic, Bro! Simply, astonishingly, mind-bogglingly epic...
[This message edited by SI Staff at 6:23 PM, September 2nd (Monday)]
Anyone else had this problem?
I am fully healed
I now live on a totally different continent due to her travelling 650miles to hurl abuse and smash my car up.
And if you want to know the truth regarding healing myslef, it was not done sitting in the counselors chair.
I had the problems and I needed to fix them, I began to read the bible after finding one on a car boot sale, I looked long and hard at who I had become since the start of that horrific relationship, how I became bitter and resentful of the situation that only moving country could change as I was out of her reach, changed email and phone # and began the process of pulling myself apart in order to rebuild myself.
I have a new wife and yes she knows absolutely everything about my past. Does she worry that I would do it to her? Not one iota, I have no hidden anger or frustrations any longer, I became free.
This is not a post to bragg of my dirty deeds but to show honesty to those here that although some may have had a small EA that broke their marriage some a ONS and so forth but I did loads of cheating and I know why I did it and what was actually going on in my own head at those points in time, great reflection has been great help in resolving issues.
Why cheat? Lots of people build up anger and resentment and take up crochet, golf, poker, or drinking as opposed to cheating.
Why marry her and get kids involved if she is such a horrific person?
As someone who is highly religious, I can assure you that healing from infidelity is much more involved than just "getting Jesus". We are humans living in a human world. Getting Jesus does not put us in this magical, protective bubble that will stop us from ever doing wrong again.
What happens when your current wife starts getting witchy. Lets say she hits menopause and loses her ever, lovin' mind. What will you do? How will you cope with your anger and resentment?
yes I did take them but only because she played the "daddy doesn't give a sizzle" tact
Sounds like you need to read this, take a long look in the mirror and then come back...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humility
Finally, in answer to your actual question - anyone else had this problem? Yeah, I had a sucky relationship with a very possesive and emotional abusive and intimidating ex once. I left. Not shagged my way around the village carving notches on the bedpost while still in the relationship.
I feel sorry for your kids, and happy your ex is out of that marriage.