Long story short -- husband confessed to a year-long affair in April of 2012. Said it had been over for a few months, he regretted it, would never do it again, blah, blah, blah. For a while, it seemed like things were going to be okay again...until earlier this year.
He tells me that a coworker hit on him, but he turned her down. Then I notice a new person commenting on his Facebook posts and ask if it was the same person who hit on him and he said it was. I wasn't comfortable with that, but he swore nothing would happen, and for some stupid reason, I believed him -- or wanted to anyway. Desperately wanted to. He didn't treat me any differently. Still very nice and seemingly into me, though gone more on the weekends.
I checked her FB profile occasionally, but never really saw anything, until a few weeks back she made a comment about her boyfriend being great. My husband had told me she and her boyfriend were on the rocks a few days before that, so it surprised me, but I didn't say anything. Then I see that she has tagged my husband and a few other people in a post about going out on a boat for a day. Something he never told me about. When I asked him about it, he said that he had planned on telling me, but he knew I would freak out, so he hadn't gotten around to it yet. Really?
Can you believe that even after that I wanted to believe that nothing was happening? Until I looked at her FB page yet again the other day, and there it was, her new profile picture in which she was kissing my husband on the cheek while he grinned at the camera. I felt sick right then and there.
I haven't said anything to my husband yet. I just don't know what to do. Part of me hates him, yet part of me doesn't want it to be over. We've been together for so long, and in a weird way, I still love him, or at least the way I remember him being. I know that once this is out in the open, it will be over with us, because I can't stay with someone who keeps doing this, but I'm absolutely terrified to lose him in my life. What do I do with all these conflicting feelings? I really need help.