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Newest Member: turdlben (45332)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He is still lying ...
livebythesea
♀ Member
Member # 38900
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had a visit with my "medium" today. Same lady who initially told me that my H was cheating on me. And she was right! Since H would not take the poly test, I was still unsure about his honesty. So I decided to pay her a visit.

She basically told me that he is still lying, that he has had more than 2 women since we have been married and that he is flirting with someone right now!

I am not surprised, I am hurt. He is not home right now but will be soon. I want to approach him in a civilized way, try to provoke the truth. There cannot be reconciliation without the truth.


HIM - 56(looks older by the day)
his time has come
ME - 56 (heart aged lately)
DD1 April 5 2013 (told me a lie)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 22 2013
3 children
1 grand child

Posts: 196 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Near the ocean ... Canada
Simple
♀ Member
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry this is happening to you. R requires two people, you can't think of that yet. It's like jumping to a solution when you haven't even flushed out the problem yet. Be angry, be sad, you can't jump to R at this point. Accept what's going on first. Focus on you first.

Hugs your way.


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
doesitgetbetter
♀ Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There cannot be reconciliation without the truth.

Yet, that's the exact same place you have found yourself day after day since you found out he cheated the first time. Unless you require truth as a means of his passage into your home, then he will never give you the truth. He knows your weaknesses and he will use them to control you to keep his life as comfortable as possible, just like he has for the past several months now. Until you grow that backbone, your life will continue on like it has for the past several months and you will always wonder and always doubt because your gut will continue to tell you you don't have the truth.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How will he respond when you tell him you know he is lying because the medium says he is?

You know he is lying based on his refusal to do the one thing you asked him to do..to help put your mind at ease..to help you feel safe with him.

BTW, I do believe in mediums..have had a few experiences with one that turned out to be spot on...but Im guessing your WH will laugh.

She says he is flirting with one right now? Did he ever give you full transparency? Do you have is passwords to everything? Did you ever put the keylogger on his computer and the spyware on his phone?

The best thing to do is lay low and investigate..if you confront..and he IS screwing around,he will just get sneakier.

((((livebythesea)))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7679 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((LBTS))))
I was wondering about you this weekend. I hate to hear that you are still getting your chain yanked.

You know in your gut that he isn't being honest, and you still attempt to convince yourself that you are wrong. He continues to lie and manipulate.

Did you see a lawyer? Did you find out your rights? Have you squirreled any just in case funds away?

I think it's time to hefty bag his belongings, and put them outside the front door, and add a lock, so he can't get in. Until he is forced he will not change, if he chooses not to change, was he worth having anyway?

You need to get strong for you. He will continue to do this until you do.

My heart hurts for you, but sister it's time to dig deep into the back of your closet, and dust off the bitch boots. You can do this.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8705 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
nolight
♀ Member
Member # 32785
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The fact that he is refusing to take a poly is a concern but please don't place much faith in what the clairvoyant has to say. These people are often skilled at reading subtle clues in your body language and demeanour to predict your future. It's easier then you would think, they start by assessing your accent, clothing and appearance to determine socio economic status, couple it with things such as your age, occupation and accent to guess at societal trends and risk factors for events such as infidelity, mid life crisis, desire to be married ect. They hint at these carefully watching the verbal and non verbal responses to their suggestion to form their prediction.

You don't need a psychic to tell you that his avoiding a poly is a bad sign, he could be continuing an affair or he could be trying to hide certain details of his last avoiding the full disclosure that you require.


Posts: 516 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Hawaii
Topic Posts: 6

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