I also feel kind of upset at going through so much numbness before.
It's like part of me has woken up and is not very happy.
Oh man I can so relate to this. Two little sentences that capture and express so much.
I'm not sure if you mean pre or post DD but in my case it was both.
I've been reading "Journey from Abandonment to Healing" and the anger at self is pretty common.
I'm pissed off that I wasted so much time beating a dead horse. I'm pissed off that I'm still mourning. I'm pissed off that this has stirred up a bunch of unresolved stuff I didn't ever really want to face.
Like that saying "I've learned a lot and I'm hopeful to be grateful for the lessons one day".