Run from this guy! Consider yourself lucky that you haven't married him yet and don't do it!
He is showing you who he is.
Keep rereading what you wrote down. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?
"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
I'll keep reading it. All I see is a weak person that is a sucker for punishment and cant seem to let go of someone who cannot be faithful in the hopes that I can somehow change him! Urg I make myself sick
Get away from him. You're not married.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
All I see is a weak person that is a sucker for punishment and cant seem to let go of someone who cannot be faithful in the hopes that I can somehow change him! Urg I make myself sick
Pringle...I fight this same battle daily but I'm looking at you from the outside right now and I see someone who loves with faith and loyalty, with the kind of brave heart that throws their lot in with someone and moves to different countries. I see someone blindsided by betrayal that never should have been a part of the picture. We all have a hard time gaining perspective on what has happened. No matter who we are, we struggle with this so you aren't being weak. You are gaining perspective. You are reaching out here so that you can get support as well as a broader picture of what is happening to you right now.
Strength is taking that broader picture and using it to stop these things from happening *to* you and begin causing things to happen because you *want* them to. It isn't a fast lesson for most people.
You refused to move with him...this is STRENGTH...not weakness.
Continue on that journey and you will find yourself so strong that, in time, you will see him in an entirely different light. An ugly one he has painted himself in. Maybe you don't want to see him that way but that would be lying to yourself...not good.
You are finding strength in a lesson you never wanted to learn.
Be gentle with yourself.
Oh, and you cannot make him "better". You can only control you. So YOU become stronger and be your own awesome self and know in your deepest heart that if he wants to be in your world,he will have to change himself to fit into it.