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Newest Member: highroad41 (44209)

New Beginnings     Print Topic    
User Topic: SI, I am confused and need help, please!!!
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Smart cars are actually pretty safe. The passenger compartment is surrounded by a hardened steel cage. Statistically, they are much safer than an SUV, which has a higher center of gravity and a higher rollover risk.

If I were him, I wouldn't be interested in someone who would judge me for the car I drove.

[This message edited by h0peless at 9:30 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 1551 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally, I save the dealbreaker stuff for things along the line of betrayal, deceit, drugs, abuse . . . not Smartcars.
Me too. Because honestly, good men are hard to find. And I am so past the superficial crap...the biggest turn on for me at this point is the way a man treats me.

Also, it takes time for REAL chemistry to build. If you are feeling chemistry on the first date, that is the superficial type that may or may not last depending on how you two get along. I've learned that true deep love comes from within, and feeling safe and secure, being able to trust your partner, and knowing that your partner is making you a priority and going out of his way to make you happy rates way far above what he drives, what he wears, or where he lives. If I end up living with someone, some of that stuff is going to change anyway. All that stuff is negotiable. What is not negotiable is how me makes me feel inside.

I do think stepping back for a little bit might be a good idea, or you may have to be like me and have enough guys treat you like crap until you finally do appreciate the true deeper qualities....


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15085 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't read any of the replies exit, so sorry if I repeat anything that has been said.

I don't think it has ANYTHING to do with the smart car being a deal breaker...I think you are using that as an excuse to use that as a deal breaker because you don't want to feel bad for not being attracted to this "nice wonderful guy". If the chemistry isn't there, it just might not be.

If you like talking to him on the phone rather than seeing him, that says a lot.

If you really liked this guy and the chemistry was there, trust me...the smart car would NOT even be an issue.


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25508 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK my SI peeps,
here is an update!

I checked him out a little more. His neighborhood is scary! Not safe to drive during the day, forget the night! Also he said "I make HIM feel safe" WTF? HE IS THE GUY! I should feel safe around HIM!
Sorry, next!

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 9:28 AM, September 5th (Thursday)]


Posts: 2478 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
kwash
Member
Member # 13957
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EW - maybe he means he feels safe emotionally. Like you are not a bitch, psycho, clinger or whatever it is he isn't looking for. Men need to feel safe too EW - not sure what your deal is with that. I definitely think you aren't ready to date though.

(((EW)))

[This message edited by kwash at 1:49 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]


Posts: 2190 | Registered: Mar 2007
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow - I have to chime in. I am astounded that the car make/model driven is even a factor in the relationship building process. With my 1995 Honda Civic, I guess I am toast.

I could buy whatever car I want but I put my money away so that I can travel around the world and such.

For the record - I love Smart cars. I was driving from Venice to Milan in the middle of the night one time and had a car go blazing by me... a Smart car. I tried to catch it with my rental Ford Focus wagon... I could not.

-t2g

PS - The Smart car received the highest rating of good in front-end and side-impact testing by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety.


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9174 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
fadedrainbow
♀ Member
Member # 9280
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No phone would be a dealbreaker for me, just sayin


me: FBW
D-Day May 2005
divorced December 2009


Posts: 132 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: UK
HereWeGo62
♂ Member
Member # 34766
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What if he drove this bad ass Smarrari. Now this is a mans car!!!


If there is reincarnation I hope OM comes back as a low water flush truck stop toilet!

Posts: 306 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Tx
million pieces
♀ Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know, when I first read this I was a little offended. While I don't have a Smart car (have two kids to haul around) I dream for the days when I can get one. I would totally love to date a guy w a smart car, maybe that why my undergraduate degree is in Environmental Bio.

But then I realized that I would probably not date someone in a giant, gas guzzling truck (unless they were a contractor and actually needed one). We all have our likes and dislikes


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1230 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
kwash
Member
Member # 13957
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

million pieces - I said something similar, that I would have a hard time dating someone with a Hummer. But to be honest if I met the guy first and hit it off and then found out he had a Hummer, I would think there must be some reason other than his car that I was interested in him and would continue to get to know him in spite of him having a vehicle that I think is ridiculous.

I think the Smart Car issue is a red herring for some other issues EW is having with dating. It seems like the small car = small man in her eyes and that is the bigger problem.

I think that the car someone drives doesn't have to say a thing about them other than "this is teh car I drive". It's the person inside the car that matters if you ask me.


Posts: 2190 | Registered: Mar 2007
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also he said "I make HIM feel safe"
My guy tells me that also. I am his safe place, his "home base". He is my safe place also. Physically, I know he will take care of me if someone is threatening but emotionally we are able to be open, loving, vulnerable and real. He has even cried with me (and he holds me when I cry also.) I wouldn't trade this for a dozen alpha-male bad boys.....


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15085 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All that matters is that they aren't a match. Better not to stretch it out when that is the case.


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4365 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
dead_inside
♀ Member
Member # 3438
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want all of them!

http://www.gizmag.com/smart-body-kits-the-smorsche-smerrari-smorvette-and-smamborghini/10442/

I used to care what cars people drove, including myself, but I just don't anymore. It sounds like your personalities are incompatible. That's okay, move to the next!


Me: FORMER BW
Him: WXH


Posts: 756 | Registered: Feb 2004
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exit you were already ready to dump him anyway. You were just looking for reasons so you didn't feel bad. Don't feel bad for not liking the guy - sometimes you just don't.


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25508 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Topic Posts: 54
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