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Newest Member: feelostandlonely (45327)

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User Topic: Has anyone had a breakdown over all this?
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I almost did. I was working out of state in San Francisco on a consultant job for Stanford University.
I was at the top of my career at the time. I had just put WH#2 on a plane back to Texas after a fabulous Labor Day weekend doing all the tourist things we could fit into the 3 days he was there. OW called me to inform me about the LTA because she was pissed that WH would come see his wife and lie to her about it. I remember standing there in total shock as this strange woman claiming to be his fiance/GF on the phone told me all about them and that he had given her an engagement ring the year before for Christmas. That she had been living in my home for 6months during the week while I was working out of state and flying home every weekend.

After we hung up the phone, I went to the balcony (I was on the 15th floor of a nice high rise hotel by the bay) I contemplated jumping off the balcony but I am scared of heights. I then thought about jumping into the bay, but the water was too cold. Instead I told myself that no man was worth my life.I went to work and took the rest of the week off. I then flew home and had my in-laws pick me up from the airport. I made an appointment with my lawyer and filed for D. WH said he did not want a D.

I flew back to my job that week. That was when the shock wore off.I then locked myself into the hotel room for 3days, crying, not sleeping, not eating, throwing up, diarrehia,and starting my period after not having one for 2yrs. My BFF called the hotel management to check on me after hearing the state I was in. She then called my WH and told me if he didn't come get me, she would. I couldn't even drive my rental car to the airport because I was too weak to hardly get out of bed, much less drive a car. I lost my job and still have been unable to work for two years now due to health problems.

I was care flighted and hospitalized after a month of being home for esphogeal bleeding caused by liver failure (new diagnosis).I lost down to a size 0 due to the infedelity diet. Even after all this my WH still took the A underground for almost another year until DDay#2.

Things are better now. I still have bad days where I can't get out of bed. I have stage 4 cirrohis (non-alcohol) and will eventually need a liver transplant. I had to have a hysterectomy due to bleeding. My hepatolgist says the PTSD probably esculated the cirrohis of my liver and bleeding issues. Unfortunately I can't take any meds due to my liver problems.

The last two years have been the worst years of my life and I have gone through some really hard things before.

M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
♀ Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ashland, I struggle with that also. Our marriage and family is all that I am and I have to change that. I have to be something else too. Going to work on that.

And thanks to so many of you for explaining why I can't remember d-day and other horrendous fights. When talking to my closest friends and therapist describing d-day I only remember the rehearsed line I said to him when I confronted and that is IT. I sound so crazy but it's true. I simply don't remember the rest of the evening...hard to explain to "normal" people :) Also, the morning after some of our giant fights I can remember sobbing uncontrollably, but I can't remember what was discussed that sent me there. I thought I was nuts...but no, just trauma

[This message edited by OldCow18 at 8:58 AM, September 5th (Thursday)]

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Old Cow, thank you for starting this thread!

Wow Pain Pain Go Away...Had you not been treated when you were for your hyperthyroidism, you might have found yourself admitted to your hospital's ICU for the life threatening emergency of thyroid storm.. Also Trust Gone and all who posted their stories in this thread, Wow ! What you guys went through is horrible!

This infidelity trauma and knowing our WH's could care less is literally a killer!

Add me to the list of people who broke down physically and emotionally in some way..

I still want to take my doggies with me and drive off somewhere in any direction, disappear and start a new life..

I used to be slender and very athletic, into bicycling..

I am now 25-30 pounds overweight and feel self conscious about meeting new people because of my negative body image and shitty self esteem..I have so many cute clothes in my closet that are 10-to 15 pounds away from being big enough to fit well..

I feel like I am in a severe depression...

I rarely want to get out of the house unless I have an appt/obligation or a friend asks me to meet up to hang out..

I think the best thing I can do for myself is to be more proactive about widening my social circle of caring people....

During our M, WH and I didn't have much of a social life together...I worked long hours and most holidays.

I wasn't crazy about the type of people WH chose for friends and he thought that I was picky and crazy for not liking most of the people he chose as friends..His friends were disrespectful of women to varying degrees..

I should have seen WH's choice of people to hang out with as a red flag showing me the person he really was inside..

I do need to reach out and send people invitations to meet up with me lol,friends motivate me to get out of the house and move more.. This may help me as much as any anti anxiety or antidepressant med because I won't feel so isolated..

[This message edited by doggiediva at 10:13 AM, September 5th (Thursday)]

Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Nov 2011
Topic Posts: 43
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