Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Dreamalittle (44740)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: OM lost his job bc of the a
BeyondBreaking
♀ Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know that it is possible to simply turn off feelings that have been nurtured carefully for 15 years. Those feelings were wrong, but they are still there in her heart. I expect her to work on this, and I am willing to allow time for this to happen.

You are a heck of a lot nicer and more understanding than I am.

After my H did what he did, if his dick OR his heart even so much as twinges about anything NOT having to do with me...he is GONE.

The fact that she has any reaction towards him utter than laughing in his face or vomiting is not anything that I would have any patience for.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After my H did what he did, if his dick OR his heart even so much as twinges about anything NOT having to do with me...he is GONE.

OMG I feel the same way

Yeah too bad OM lost the job. That's what happens when you don't play by the rules. My WH had to fire his whore of an employee.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
quoththeraven1
♂ Member
Member # 35458
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you think that you will move to another town to get another post or stay where you are and leave the ministry?

PurpleJacket: Our plans are to stay here at least until our younger son is through High School. I have a number of reasons for this. First, I just don't like the idea of running from our problems. We made them here, we ought to fix them here. Second, I suppose it has something to do with who I am. I can't be ambivalent about the relationship; I need to be all in and do what is best for my wife and sons. If God is willing, I can resume and perhaps pick up those pieces at that time. Meanwhile, I intend to preach for a small congregation on the side. BTW, I was never handcuffed in content by my previous position. I guess that is what hurts: we were a good fit, liked and respected. Obviously we didn't deserve it, but we were admired. A part of me welcomes the sacrifice, I suppose out of guilt. But no, it's not what I had hoped for.


Posts: 166 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Appalachia
quoththeraven1
♂ Member
Member # 35458
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WW response was "Oh, I cared about him a lot"

Bikingguy: Maybe the way to view this is that she DID care about him a lot, but she has come to her senses???


Posts: 166 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Appalachia
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I see a lot of "we" in what you just posted. I hope you aren't taking your wife's failings on as your own.

Posts: 1657 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
quoththeraven1
♂ Member
Member # 35458
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are a heck of a lot nicer and more understanding than I am.

If I had been so nice, I would not have done the things I did. The guilt is part of the equation. And what is healthier is the realization that I too have been forgiven much. If the relationship is worth anything, it's worth some time and understanding


Posts: 166 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Appalachia
quoththeraven1
♂ Member
Member # 35458
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah too bad OM lost the job. That's what happens when you don't play by the rules. My WH had to fire his whore of an employee.

With you on that one, Blindsided. I have no sympathy at all for him, or for that matter, for my wife's feelings on the matter. Being patient is not the same as endorsement. As far as I am concerned, Little Prince Charming has reaped exactly what he has sown. And to think that all he had to do in order to avoid all consequences would have been to simply walk away after 14 years or so of screwing my wife, and he refused to do even that.


Posts: 166 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Appalachia
quoththeraven1
♂ Member
Member # 35458
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I see a lot of "we" in what you just posted. I hope you aren't taking your wife's failings on as your own.

I hope not either, and I don't think so. Just owning my own failings in the context of the discussion of "what's next?"


Posts: 166 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Appalachia
Lyonesse
♀ Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

QTR1, I am so sorry to hear about your job. But relieved to hear the A is over. You did the right thing in putting the end to that.

Sending you good wishes for your family's recovery. I know you will continue to do the best for everyone in your family. Please take good care of yourself, too - the stress of this whole ordeal takes such a toll and we often don't recognize it while trying to hold it all together. I wish you peace.


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1794 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
Topic Posts: 49
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.