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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He swears this is spam...I'm struggling to believe it is
alphakitte
♀ Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Google the phone number.

Put it in quotes, like this:

"(xxx) xxx-xxxx" and see what comes up.

Or, call the phone number and see what you get.

I don't think it helps for you to discuss this with him because your profile mentions that he lies about everything until you show him that you have proof to the contrary. Considering all the time and money the two of you have spent on counseling, therapy and polygraph, it is unlikely that he is going to admit that he has a Tracfone.

Is it possible that the phone he carries is one of those that allows for two different phone numbers to be on the same phone? With one of those you can toggle between numbers, yet have it all on the same handset. Or, is it an international model? Many of those allow for two different numbers.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 350 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
PamJ
♀ Member
Member # 40475
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

<<I would maybe drop it and use a VAR.>>

I second this. My WH never contacted the OW from inside our house, his car is his roving office and where he made all his calls and texts. They feel safe there.

Best Buy $50 voice activated, follow the instructions to have it not beep when recording, get some wide strong velcro from Walmart and stick it under his seat.

I wish I had done this last year, but never thought of it. I got two after D Day but he really has stopped and after months I have not heard anything incrimination from inside his car. Very boring work stuff and convos with me.


Me: BS 50+
Him: WH 60

3 EAs

2 grown sons, 1 grown step-son

Last DDay, March 19, 2013 after a few weeks of TT- trying to have a new marriage after almost 35 years.
No more chances.


Posts: 56 | Registered: Aug 2013
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are several sites you can go to to search that number..or you could PM a few members here and ask them for help...or you can pay for premium access and then you can post in the investigative forum and Im sure someone there could help you.

I've never been able to find a reliable site when searching cell numbers, but I know many of our members have had success.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7671 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
spinningwheel
♀ New Member
Member # 39336
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will research the GSP and VAR. Thank you for these suggestions. Honestly, I'm not sure I want the be in a marriage that requires that. But I will NOT allow myself to let his lies take my choices away.

As to premium access, don't I also have to have a certain number of posts to be eligible? If so, I'm sure I don't yet meet the criteria. Bummer.

ETA: Correct to say, "I'm NOT sure I want to be in a marriage that requires that."

[This message edited by spinningwheel at 1:11 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]


Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2013
spinningwheel
♀ New Member
Member # 39336
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Alpha, I don't know anything about a phone being able to have 2 phone numbers. He has a Samsung galaxy s3 or s4.

Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2013
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah,yes. Im sorry. You have to have 51 legitimate posts before you can get access...it's been so long since,I'd forgotten.

I think the VAR is your best bet. He's ditched the phone. But he'll get another one.

Im so sorry he's putting you through this shit.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7671 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If that's spam then my penis turns into a golf cart and races the Indy 500 every year while I sleep.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7469 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
spinningwheel
♀ New Member
Member # 39336
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still going, that's not one I've heard before but it gave me a giggle.

My husband just called to "check on me". Says he's concerned about what this is doing to me and will call the number tonight to find out information while on speaker phone to verify his innocence. I wish to hell he would just admit it to me. I'm not much for circus acts these days.


Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2013
PamJ
♀ Member
Member # 40475
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No one WANTS to be in a relationship that requires the use of a VAR, but, as I was betrayed 3 times and am giving it one more shot, I did not want to go for another year in what I thought was R and then find out that half way or so, through he started talking to OW again. It was more peace of mind for me. I never found anything on it, and have since stopped using it, but it made me fell somewhat in control for a while when I was very vulnerable.


Me: BS 50+
Him: WH 60

3 EAs

2 grown sons, 1 grown step-son

Last DDay, March 19, 2013 after a few weeks of TT- trying to have a new marriage after almost 35 years.
No more chances.


Posts: 56 | Registered: Aug 2013
spinningwheel
♀ New Member
Member # 39336
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You make a good point, Pam. Of course no wants wants to be in that kind of marriage. I'm not typically so "me" centered, I hope. We all have to protect ourselves while pursuing reconciliation until there's been enough consistency over time to feel safe. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2013
PamJ
♀ Member
Member # 40475
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, if the # that called and left the message IS a spam/telemarkter adn you put the number into a Google search you would get reports from people on sites like Whocallsme.com where people complain about telemarketers calling all the time etc. If it's a normal business # it might just have the business name, but, as it seems like an internal acct # it probably won't show up that way.


Me: BS 50+
Him: WH 60

3 EAs

2 grown sons, 1 grown step-son

Last DDay, March 19, 2013 after a few weeks of TT- trying to have a new marriage after almost 35 years.
No more chances.


Posts: 56 | Registered: Aug 2013
spinningwheel
♀ New Member
Member # 39336
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pam, putting it in google, complaints so show up about it being telemarketer calls. However, none of those comments reference "confirming you added airtime". I don't know what to think.

*DO NOT POST PHONE NUMBERS*

[This message edited by SI Staff at 3:02 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]


Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2013
Knowing
♀ Member
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Calling to access his account would give you access to information such as which credit card was used to purchase time on the phone. That's the way I would go. Seems like the shortest route to solving this mystery.


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 698 | Registered: Oct 2012
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just called..it's definitely tracfone's number.

They asked if I wanted o add air time to my phone.


They knew his name..that is NOT spam.

You are trying to figure out some way that he can be right...that he is not lying..what does your gut tell you? What does your common sense tell you? Listen to that...not him..he is a liar. Trust YOU.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7671 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
spinningwheel
♀ New Member
Member # 39336
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unfortunately, I don't know what a "gut feeling" really is anymore. My gut told me things weren't on the up and up last week but his polygraph Saturday proved me wrong. Fear feels an awful lot like a gut reaction.

I wish I had seen this message confirming adding airtime to his tracfone prior to the polygraph. I would have included it in the questions. But this message didn't happen until yesterday - ironically during my birthday lunch with him.


Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2013
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

his polygraph Saturday proved me wrong

Not entirely true - it means the machine didn't register an abnormal response to the questions asked. Doesn't mean you know the truth. Just the possible answers to a few questions.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4002 | Registered: Dec 2011
spinningwheel
♀ New Member
Member # 39336
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Knowing, in order to call and access his account, I have to have the phone number. I don't. This was a voicemail left on his desk phone that rolled as a voice mail to his work email when he didn't answer the call. the only number is the one I listed that was a call-back number in the voice mail.

I have no idea how to get the tracfone phone number he swears he doesn't have.


Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2013
spinningwheel
♀ New Member
Member # 39336
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred, the questions asked were all verified and unequivocally true responses. Not even a blip of hesitation or dishonesty. There were 4. They were:

1)Are you currently fantasizing about other men or women? "No"
2)Since your last polygraph, have you acted out sexually? "No"
3)Are you lying to your wife about anything? "No"
4)When you are having sex with your wife are you thinking about someone else? "No"


Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2013
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Says he's concerned about what this is doing to me and will call the number tonight to find out information while on speaker phone to verify his innocence. I wish to hell he would just admit it to me. I'm not much for circus acts these days.

I wouldn't buy this....he's had to much time to ditch the phoen and switch it up.

This was a voicemail left on his desk phone that rolled as a voice mail to his work email when he didn't answer the call.

I would bet that the phone is either at work or in his car. Anyway to sneak in the middle of the night and go through his car?


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2012
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Polygraphs can be pretty accurate when a normal person is hooked up to them but someone with a cluster B personality disorder or sociopathy can beat them easily. Unfortunately, it is really common for cheaters to fall under one of those categories. Don't put too much faith in the poly.

As for the message on the phone, he's lying. I'm so sorry.

[This message edited by h0peless at 5:04 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Topic Posts: 103
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