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Reconciliation :
He swears this is spam...I'm struggling to believe it is

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 spinningwheel (original poster new member #39336) posted at 4:53 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Yesterday, I found a voicemail on dh's work phone that he didn't tell me about. He's adamant it's spam and not to him.

Typing the content here, what do you think the chances are this is spam and not really to him?

"Hi, (husband's name), this is Julie from Tracfone, calling to confirm you successfully added airtime to your Tracfone. If you no longer wish to receive messages from Tracfone, call 1-***-***-****. Now with your triple minute benefit you can share your days with friends and family with phone calls and text messaging."

What do you think? Spam? Real? I've never received a spam message like this.

Thanks for your thoughts,

SpinnningWheel

posts: 31   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2013
id 6475134
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lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 4:57 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

That doesn't sound like spam to me. That is a confirmation that minutes were successfully added.

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22643   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
id 6475139
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lordhasaplan? ( member #30079) posted at 4:58 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Have him call trac phone in your presence and tell them they are to talk to you about his account. Once he hands you the phone ask if he has an active acct and what the number is, last payments made etc.... Yes, its real. not spam.

BS- Me (45)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R.Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2114   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6475141
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OldCow18 ( member #39670) posted at 4:59 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Ugh, I would have a very hard time believing that was spam. I just googled Tracfone, it's a prepaid cell phone? Is that what he has?

I'd call them and see if you can get any info.

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

posts: 620   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2013
id 6475143
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OldCow18 ( member #39670) posted at 5:01 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Oh yes, Lordhasaplan has a great plan. I would definitely do that. Just make sure you spring it on him so he can't manipulate the situation.

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

posts: 620   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2013
id 6475147
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carnelian ( member #24824) posted at 5:01 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

The fact that it's voicemail seems hinky to me, though I suppose it could be some type of scammy spam (ie, call this number - and get charged for the call). Have you done a reverse look-up for the number?

What are you going to do when he leaves you?

posts: 567   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6475148
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 5:02 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Hmm. Doesn't sound like spam to me.

But..if he had added minutes to a Tracfone,wouldn't they have called THAT phone and left a voicemail on that phone?

^^That is my only question. Otherwise,this doesn't sound like spam at all.

It sounds like he has a Tracfone.

ETA: Just asked my sister..she has a Tracfone..she has gotten calls like that confirming that she had added minutes to her phone. Im so,so sorry,

Start looking for the other phone..search everywhere..start with his car..under the spare tire..in the lining of his seat covers,under the jack...

Im so..so sorry.

[This message edited by confused615 at 11:04 AM, September 5th (Thursday)]

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 6475149
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PamJ ( member #40475) posted at 5:03 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Not spam, they had his name & # and were confirming an order.

Spam would be general, but I have never gotten a telemarketing call from a phone service like that , and the only ones I do get are with companies we use wanting us to upgrade, like our Centurylink acct (home & office) We get emails & texts to our phones from Verizon if we change anything , we go over our data plan or are due for a new phone. Again, companies we had a relationship with already.

I take it you were not aware of a Tracfone?

I would be tearing apart his car looking for it, if you haven't already.

[This message edited by PamJ at 11:07 AM, September 5th (Thursday)]

Me: BS 50+
Him: WH 60

3 EAs

2 grown sons, 1 grown step-son

Last DDay, March 19, 2013 after a few weeks of TT- trying to have a new marriage after almost 35 years.
No more chances.

posts: 56   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2013
id 6475151
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 spinningwheel (original poster new member #39336) posted at 5:14 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

I called the number in the message. Pre-recorded message that said:

"Thank you for choosing Tracfone. Please listen carefully to the following options: if you would like to buy airtime using a credit card, please press 1 now. For a list of tracfone retailers,press 2. if you no longer wish to receive pre-recorded offers, please press 3." End of message.

He denies having the tracfone so I have no idea what the associated phone number to it is.

I'm scared.

posts: 31   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2013
id 6475160
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 5:18 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

He is lying. he is scared that you are about to find out he took the A underground and he is trying to cover his ass.

He.is.lying.

Drop it. Put a VAR in his car and wait.

I know..easier said than done.

(((((spinningwheel)))))

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 6475162
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Josephine01 ( member #38511) posted at 5:27 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Oh spinningwheel, I am sorry but it sounds like he has a track phone. He has probably gotten rid of it now knowing that you are on to him. Confused had the right idea. I am sooooo sorry.

Me, 47 BS
H, 65 WH
2 boys 23 and 18 years old
Married 24 years

posts: 524   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2013
id 6475174
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 5:30 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

^^Yes...he may have ditched this phone..but he will get another one..once he thinks you have let this "silly" idea go that he had another phone.

If he has taken the A underground, he isn't going to end it just because he almost got caught. He's just going to get sneakier.

Damn. I hate this shit.

I HATE IT.

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 6475180
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 spinningwheel (original poster new member #39336) posted at 5:30 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

is there any way I can find out what the number is?

We reconciled 2 months ago and did the agree-upon polygraph this past Saturday (14 months since formal disclosure and polygraph). He passed with flying colors, although no questions pertaining to a secret phone were asked.

I'm confused and sick to my stomach.

posts: 31   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2013
id 6475181
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 5:32 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Oh shit. Honey I'm so sorry. I think it's exactly what it looks like.

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 6475183
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LisaP ( member #15088) posted at 5:37 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

I am so sorry. He is lying. Is he still seeing a CSAT?

[This message edited by LisaP at 11:40 AM, September 5th (Thursday)]

Me BS

Divorced!

~Feel your emotions, but control your behavior~ Unknown

posts: 2200   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2007   ·   location: Oregon
id 6475188
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 spinningwheel (original poster new member #39336) posted at 5:53 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Lisa, we both stopped counseling 3 weeks ago for me to attend a support group for wives through the counseling center our therapists run. We couldn't afford both and he's been involved in meetings and a recovery group 4 nights weekly, so the suspension in counseling was acceptable to the CSAT.

posts: 31   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2013
id 6475209
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donotlietome ( member #26478) posted at 5:53 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Tell him you called polygraph place and they agreed to let him come back to ask about phone since it was so recent that he took test. See what he has to say then.

posts: 350   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2009
id 6475210
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 spinningwheel (original poster new member #39336) posted at 5:58 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

donotlietome, I did. Either he's being honest or calling my bluff, but he's fine with that. Problem it, the polygraph is $500 and we just spend that this weekend for the polygraph.

I need to find the information about this phone on my own and have no idea where to start. Ugh.

posts: 31   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2013
id 6475213
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Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 6:02 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Did he have a tracphone in the past? The fact that they used his name is what gives me pause.

I would maybe drop it and use a VAR.

Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

posts: 8016   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2011
id 6475222
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shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 6:06 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Nope. I have had a Tracfone for years. That is not spam, it is for an active account.

Sorry. You need to make him drop his guard now and do some investigation. GPS?

But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17

posts: 1729   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2003
id 6475226
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